What Does it Really Mean to Age Gracefully in 2026?

Today is my 38th birthday. I don’t know when things shifted, but I’ve officially crossed over into the point of my life in which aging feels scary. It’s hard not to think about aging constantly, especially right now, when the beauty standards of youthfulness are so much more intense than they ever were before. 

I want to be someone who ages gracefully. But in 2026, what does that even mean? Our image of what a 40-year-old woman “should” look like is so warped right now…but then, it always has been, hasn’t it? 

Ten years ago, women over 30 were portrayed as ancient and invisible, as if their entire lives had passed her by. The only real representation of “middle aged women” we had was this sitcom-ified version of a suburban mom in a minivan. She wasn’t really a full person in many of these portrayals; she was a symbol and vessel. No dreams of her own, no agency, no personal style…it was like messages everywhere told us that once we hit a certain age, we should just retreat. 

There have been some notable exceptions: One of my favorite comfort shows, Younger, is all about a 40-year-old woman who fully embraces her second act. She’s a main character, and she still has desire and ambition and fun. The show’s whole premise, though, is that she has to masquerade as a much younger woman in order to live this full life.

And then there’s one of my favorite books, The Idea of You, which is about an age gap relationship — come for the steamy scenes, stay for the beautiful commentary on what it is to age as a woman in a world that essentially tells us we become invisible once we hit a certain age.

All that to say? I want to age gracefully. I have never tried botox, filler, or plastic surgery (though I have started coloring my pesky grey hairs!), and for a while I thought that meant I was doing it — I was “aging gracefully”. This felt like a rebellious stance to take in a world that expects women to remain frozen in time. But today, one year older and reflecting on what it means to age as a woman, I realize it’s not about that at all.

Aging gracefully isn’t about refusing a little botox. It’s also not about refusing to let time do it’s thing to your outward appearance. It’s about living fully, even in a world that tells you to shrink yourself down or make yourself less. 

Ask Clara:

"How do beauty standards affect women as they age?"

TikTokers Are Eating Beans for Breakfast. Should You Try It?

Another day, another TikTok rabbit hole. And this one led me to the part of the app where people are obsessed with…well, beans. No, this isn't meant to signify something else. I’m literally just talking about beans. Black beans, navy beans, white beans, kidney beans…any type of bean you like. 

It’s called “beantok” because of course it is, and it features people touting (no, not “tooting”, touting) beans for their ability to “make you hot”, according to a super viral TikTok. Creators are especially into beans for breakfast, and they’re sharing the bean-centric morning meals they’re concocting. Think: A pile of black beans topped off with avocado, a fried egg, and hot sauce. Or, if you prefer, a pile of sauteed beans plated with boiled eggs and whatever other breakfast fare you like.

But is there truly anything magical about eating beans, specifically for breakfast? Because honestly…beans are not high on the list of things I crave first thing in the morning (give me a bagel over a pile of kidney beans any day).

 Is this Tiktok hack worth paying attention to…or is it just another example of wellness culture telling us to do something with zero grounding in fact and turning it into a huge fad?

According to registered dietician Anna Bohnengel, there’s something to the whole beantok thing.

“Starting your day with a mix of protein and fiber is one of the most reliable ways to stabilize blood sugar, hormones, and appetite. Research consistently shows that higher-fiber, higher-protein breakfasts reduce post-meal glucose spikes and improve satiety for hours afterward,” she says.

But why beans specifically?

“Beans provide a beneficial combo of protein, fiber, and micronutrients that all support both blood sugar control and gut microbiome health,” Bohnengel explains. 

Breakfasts tend to be full of refined grains (cereal, oatmeal, toast, etc.), but even people who are eating protein and fiber-packed breakfasts (say, eggs and fruit) could benefit from a beans-for-breakfast situation.  “Beans can still boost the soluble fiber for fueling beneficial bacteria in your gut microbiome,” says the expert.

So there you have it. Beans for breakfast — it’s not only TikTok approved, but expert-approved as well. 

Ask Clara:

"What are the benefits of eating beans?"

Hilary Duff's Admission About Needing Relationship 'Chaos' is So Relatable. But is That a Good Thing?

Last week, I posed a question to BODYTALK’s newsletter subscribers (side note: Have you joined the chat yet?): I asked them if they’d ever been in a truly toxic relationship…and 70 percent of respondents said yes. 

This doesn’t surprise me: Toxic relationships have been glorified and romanticized, and we’ve all been conditioned to believe that the heart-pounding, butterfly-inducing, high-highs-and-low-lows type of relationships are the height of romance. See: Oh…pretty much every movie and TV show ever. Love triangles and will-they-won't-they stories and "passionate" fights between lovers were forced down our throats at pretty much every turn.

And it turns out, even our millennial screen queen/relatable celeb icon isn’t immune to the pull of these messages. On a recent Call Her Daddy appearance, Hilary Duff opened about the beginning of her relationship with her now-husband, Matthew Koma. 

“He was very sweet,” she said of their relationship’s earliest days. “He was so nice to me and I remember being like…he’s so nice. That's not really a thing.”

And then, she dropped a bomb that made so many things — even in my own life — instantly make sense. “I think I needed some chaos first,” she said.

I can relate…and if you’re reading this, I’m guessing you can as well.

Duff went on to talk about how she and Koma broke up multiple times (and really, haven’t we all done the on-again-off-again thing at one point or another?). Again…it’s really relatable. And it clarifies why pretty much every woman I know has, at one point or another, turned away from a good thing in favor of…well, more chaos.

I think we’ve been so conditioned to believe that romantic relationships should make our nervous systems go a little crazy…and I also think we as women have been conditioned to feel we don’t deserve nice things. 

Part of me feels like craving the chaos is just a rite of passage….but is it really? Or is it just years and years of being made to feel like stability is boring or stale? And also...years of being made to feel like we don't deserve to just be treated well without the drama and emotional labor and the fighting to prove our worth. 

We’ve recieved so many ideas about the excitment and the buzz or being in an unstable partnership that makes us feel a little bit crazy. But can we put a new narrative in place now? Chaos isn’t cute. Sometimes, people really are nice and good…and we’re worthy of that niceness and goodness. 

Ask Clara:

"Why do we crave chaos in relationships? "

Millennials Have Entered Our Sandwich Generation Era and It’s a Lot

I’m a member of the sandwich generation, and I’m not the only one. Data indicates that millions of U.S. adults are right there with me in the sandwich, raising young kids while also having a parent aged 65 or older. 

Yes, this has always been a thing, but millennials are feeling it on a whole new level, especially because many of us had kids later, once our parents were already entering advanced age, among other reasons. And of course, we’re doing it under intensely difficult cultural, systemic, and economic conditions. 

The reality is, many of us are juggling multiple caregiving roles, and the weight of this responsibility falls predominantly on women. Finally, we have some data to confirm this: Research overwhelmingly indicates that women take on more childcare and domestic labor, and more elder care as well. 

For women who are balancing it all — multiple caregiving responsibilities, busy careers, partnerships, and more, finding time to invest in our own health is nearly impossible. And so we forget to schedule our mammograms. We cancel our therapy session when a kid is home sick from school. We forgo exercise when an aging parent needs extra care. We don’t eat well (or enough) because we just don’t have the mental energy to think about what we should reach for. We don’t rest enough — even when we physically lie down, our minds never stop racing. 

It’s a lot. The good news is, we’re finally starting to talk about it, and we can’t afford to stop anytime soon. Nothing changes unless we bring awareness to the issue. And the issue at hand is clear: Millennial women are burning out…and this sandwich generation era many of us are in? It just might be our most exhausting era yet.

Ask Clara:

"Do women do more caregiving?"

Who Gets to be a 'Pilates Girlie'?

On the current season of Love is Blind, there’s a scene that has audiences heated. In it, a man on the show tells the woman he is engaged to that he’s not feeling their physical connection. His idea of a woman to whom he'd be attracted? Someone "who does f*cking pilates every day,” he says by way of explanation.

If you haven’t watched the clip, you should — it contains some necessary context. But audiences have held on to the pilates of it all, and it’s because…well, this isn’t the first time the exercise has been mentioned in this picture of idealized, aspirational womanhood.

And we need to unpack it. Because in the zeitgeist of 2026, referring to someone as a “pilates girlie” or a “pilates wife” doesn’t just refer to a woman who enjoys this particular form of exercise.

To some, pilates has come to represent a slice of wealthy, white, thin womanhood that's being glorified. There’s a “pilates girl aesthetic”, which is essentially a thin body dressed in pricey workout sets, sipping a matcha, and hopping into a luxury SUV after a session at a pilates studio...which is filled with other thin, wealthy, white women. 

This mythical idea of a “pilates wife” or a “pilates mom” has a whole chokehold on social media, and it feels like this image has very little to do with actually doing or enjoying pilates, and more to do with this extremely narrow standard of what a “hot high value” woman who "takes care of herself" should be. 

There’s so much wrapped up in this: Racism, classism, fatphobia, and more. We’ve all seen the commentary that people in larger bodies “shouldn’t” do pilates, or that a “pilates body” is a lean frame with visible abs, or that a man’s “ultimate goal” should be to make his wife a “pilates wife”. But at the end of the day pilates is just…an exercise. It doesn’t require you to look a certain way or live a certain lifestyle or represent a very specific segment of womanhood. 

Ask Clara:

"What are the benefits of pilates?"

We Should All Know the Term "Matresence"

I was a journalist covering prenatal and maternal health for years before I had kids. I thought I was so prepared for anything new motherhood threw at me…yet when I finally had my twins, I felt completely unmoored. 

I didn’t have the language to describe what I was feeling — I just knew that I didn’t feel like me. But it turns out, there is a word for that transition, and if I had known that word, I would have been able to make sense of what I was feeling. 

Matresence is that word, and it’s one we should put into public consciousness. Yet once again, women are denied the knowledge and the information they need in order to understand their own health and what they’re experiencing.

Matresence refers to the complex process of becoming a mother. It’s a process that changes you in every way, yet it’s one nobody ever prepares new mothers to face. And that’s why we need the word “matresence” to be made mainstream…and why it’s so frustrating that we still haven’t achieved that progress.

The word “matresence” doesn’t appear in the dictionary (yet somehow the term “IDGAF” does?) and we’re long overdue for that to change. Peanut, an app designed for moms to make friends with one another, is leading the charge here: They’ve taken out a full-page ad in the New York Times devoted to this cause.

This isn’t just a maternal issue, it’s a women’s health issue, too. I’m a mom who loves being a mom. I’m also a woman who firmly believes in sharing the realities of what motherhood truly looks like so the women who come after me can make informed reproductive choices. And when we deprive them of the true understanding of what becoming a mother truly looks like, we’re essentially stripping their ability to make a choice with all the necessary information.

The fact that matrescence isn’t a widely used or recognized term — that it’s not even in the dictionary, while all sorts of social media-made slang terms find their way into the book —  is indicative of something so much larger. It all comes down to how little information we give women about their own bodies and lives. Our institutions won’t talk about it, so we have to have the conversations ourselves — and those conversations are a lot easier to have when we have the type of language they require.

Ask Clara:

"What is matresence?"

Paige DeSorbo is Here to Normalize Frequent UTIs

I feel like I should knock on wood before sharing this, but here we go: I’ve never had a urinary tract infection (at least…I don’t think I have?).  But when I recently shared this with a few friends, they were shocked. As someone who is not personally prone to UTIs, I truly had no idea how common they are.

And that’s in part because (all together now!) we’ve been so discouraged as women from talking about the real stuff that’s happening in our bodies. I imagine many women have felt like they need to hide their UTI-related discomfort, to essentially suffer in silence, for fear of sharing “too much information”. But, you know what I say: When it comes to intel about our bodies, there is no such thing as “too much”. 

That’s why I love that Paige DeSorbo is speaking out about her own experiences with chronic UTIs — stigma be damned. 

During an appearance on the Broad Ideas podcast, the reality star shared that she typically gets an infection every four-ish months.

“ I’ll have girls that DM me that have never had a UTI before in their lives and they’ll be like, ‘Is this just a normal thing that you’re walking around with during the day?’ And I’m like, ‘They are so debilitating,’” DeSorbo said. “In college, I used to be able to go to class, go to do whatever. As I got older, they would truly debilitate [me]. I wouldn’t be able to move off of the toilet literally, I’d have to pee every four seconds.”

She also shared that she’s been taking cranberry and oregano supplements to keep this frequency at bay. While there’s research to back up the effectiveness of cranberry products in this application, as always, your best bet is to go chat with your doctor if you experience frequent UTIs.

Whether DeSorbo’s approach works for you or not, it’s the normalization that matters here. By talking openly about her own experience with a health issue that is, well…not super sexy, she’s helping other women and girls feel less alone.

Ask Clara:

"How do I get a UTI?"

New Research Reveals What GLP-1 Users May Not be Thinking About

Here’s the thing about GLP-1 agonists (aka Ozempic and the like): They’re still new. We’re still learning about them — and by “we” I mean the general public, the people who are on these drugs, and the medical community. 

These drugs are arguably one of the biggest breakthroughs we’ve seen in the medical world, and so many people claim GLP-1 use has completely changed their lives. But it’s important to remember that these drugs aren’t a cure-all. 

According to new research published in thr International Journal of Obesity, this may be a pitfall of GLP-1 use: Many users may not be receiving enough nutritional guidance while on these medications.

Because GLP-1 drugs are so revolutionary, especially for people with diabetes or obesity, it seems people have fallen into this sort of “magical solution” line of thinking around these drugs. Maybe they even see them as quick fix solutions for weight loss, and view that weight loss as the ultimate metric for measuring health. 

Contrary to some narratives out there, you still need to be mindful of what you’re eating, with a particular focus on protein to preserve muscle. The researchers point out that because people on these drugs tend to feel full quickly, experience nausea, and have different food preferences while on these drugs, which may steer them away from eating enough protein. 

That, combined with lack of nutritional counseling, can explain why being on a GLP-1 drug can be linked to dietary gaps. Because it’s not just about consuming fewer calories, it’s also about dietary quality. All that to say: Yes, you may get full quickly and lose weight fast on this medication, but that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea to, say, eat nothing but a candy bar all day. Yes, you may be losing weight and feeling satiated, but it’s not going to do you any favors down the line. 

The takeaway here? Information matters. And we need to change the narrative around body size being the ultimate indicator of a healthy diet. GLP-1 drugs can be incredible, game-changing medications for people, but it’s important to remember that they just represent one item in a full toolkit of things people can do in the name of better health.

Ask Clara:

"How do GLP-1 drugs work?"

Hot Take: We Should Stop Asking People If They’re Done Having Kids

“So are you done having kids?” is pretty much a standard conversational question — like, to the point that it often comes up the first time you meet someone. It’s a question we shouldn’t be asking so casually, at least in my opinion.

Is it a categorically bad question? No, but it’s not one we should be asking people we barely know. And here’s my hot take: We shouldn’t be asking it of people we are close to either — especially not if we know they’ve ever experienced any type of fertility struggle or pregnancy complication.

For people who have experienced infertility, this is such a complicated question...and one that's really tough to answer. 

As someone who had twins after fertility challenges, a big part of me does want a third child, but I don’t think the desire is big enough for me to undergo testing, treatments, face the possibility of another miscarriage, and endure another high-risk, complicated pregnancy. And so when people ask me about having another child (or worse, tell me I should have another), even when they’re close friends or family members, it stings.

And it just feels plain awkward. I don’t have as simple a relationship to that question as some people do. I don’t have that luxury. 

Because for me, and for so many people out there for so many reasons, it’s not as simple as deciding whether or not you want another baby. There are so many health considerations and (especially in this economy!) financial considerations.

It’s not just about actually conceiving and birthing a baby either. A friend recently told me she couldn’t handle the thought of having a third baby because she couldn’t fathom the possibility of having a child who would never meet her dad, who passed away after her second child’s birth. 

Once you factor in one of those things, you realize...this isn't a simple question for so many people.

And the truth is, it’s complicated to explain all that to someone who has never walked through any of the issues that can affect your relationship to the question of whether you’ll have another baby. So here’s a thought: Let’s file this question under “things we’re leaving in 2025”.

Ask Clara:

"How do I decide if I want another child?"

'Tell Me Lies' Gave a Whole New Meaning to the Term ‘Unhealthy Relationship”

Have you ever been in a truly toxic relationship? I haven’t, but I’ve certainly seen friends and loved ones caught in these cycles…and I’ve seen how deeply they can affect people, especially women. Not just mentally and emotionally, but physically as well.

I’ve seen women I love lose alarming amounts of weight due to the stress of it all. I’ve seen them experience panic attacks or mental health issues. They’ve lost hair and gained digestive issues. Some turn to substances and change their eating habits dramatically or struggle to get out of bed each day.

When you’ve seen a toxic relationship up close, you see how accurate the term “toxic” truly is, and how unhealthy — in every way — these relationships can be. And Tell Me Lies, which just aired its series finale after three wild, twisted, toxic seasons, did justice to that experience. 

If you haven’ t watched Tell Me Lies, keep reading. I promise I'll avoid spoiling things here, but I will encourage you to read the book and watch all three seasons of the show. It’s pure millennial gold, complete with a perfect soundtrack and some truly quality acting.

But most of all, it gives us what many call the first truly accurate depiction of a toxic relationship in pop culture. It doesn’t just get into how the wrong relationship can devastate you emotionally; it also gives us a glimpse at how it can affect your health.

We’ve grown up with so many romanticized takes on toxic men. This show is the antidote to all of them. It’s not a love story; it’s a cautionary tale. It shows us how falling in love with the wrong person can strip you of your dignity, your goals, your friendships…even your physical and mental health. It can completely undo you. 

This brilliant little show feeds us the real, raw, nasty truth about toxic relationships and what they can truly do to a person. And it's about time.

Ask Clara:

"How can stress affect your physical health?"