Miss Uganda Brings C-Section Awareness to the Runway

If you're a C-section mom, chances are you've heard that you "took the easy way out" or that you "didn't actually give birth".

I don't know if this happens to often because people feel the need to weigh in on every single thing a woman does with her body...or because people fundamentally misunderstand what a C-section actually entails. Probably some of both.

But now, a major fashion moment has entered the building to give the world a real look at what C-section actually is and what it truly does to your body. And it's about time.

Muhoza Trivia Elle, who is Miss World Uganda 2025, walked the runway in a gown by KEESHA, a modest couture brand by Keesha Abdallah. The gown is called "The Layers of Life" and represents the layers that must be cut through during a C-section. The dress has a gorgeous silhouette and vibrant color palette (you can see the photos here), but it's more than meets the eye.

The colors represent the seven surgical layers of C-section childbirth: Skin, fat, peritoneum, fascia, abs, uterus, and amniotic sac. We love this artful C-section representation.

Somehow, even though I've been through this type of birth, I've never fully wrapped my head around what a physical ordeal it truly is. This type of representation matters: It shows women what they've done. It challenges the idea that this is "an easy way out of giving birth the real way". And it shies away from depiction this type of birth as ugly, undesirable, or a last resort.

For so long, we've been told that the details of how women give birth are "gross". Part of why nobody really knows how a C-section actually works is because of this. This type of creation challenges all that in the most beautiful, artful way.

Ask Clara:

"How does a C-section work?"

Ms Rachel & the Power of the Midlife Pivot

At 38 years old, I often find myself falling into this "it's too late trap".

It's too late to have a third baby. It's too late to go back to grad school (again). It's too late to pivot in my career.

But it's not too late: As we enter this phase, millennial women are rewriting the rules of midlife. See: Ms Rachel, the musician who built a whole empire around connecting with kids, who recently put it into perspective.

A woman (@bwhite_) posed a question on threads: "Y’all think 35 is too late to consider changing careers completely ?". Ms Rachel had the best response. "I had the idea for Ms Rachel at 36 years old", she replied.

It's such a powerful reminder: We can use the tools we've gained in new ways — or we can build a new toolbox completely — at any age. We hear the reassurances, of course, but nothing really shows us it's possible like a real life example. And here, Ms Rachel is giving us one: She came up with an idea at an age at which so many women are told it's "too late". That idea blew up.

Not everyone will be Ms Rachel, of course. We can't all be moguls, but we can pivot and change our minds and start new things and learn new skills. Those things don't stop being true when we exit our 20s, contrary to what so many narratives suggest.

I think so many of us have always felt that men were given endless permission to try new things, to start new companies, to change lanes or occupy multiple lanes at once. Women, on the other hand, were always encouraged to stay small.

But as people begin to live longer, technology changes the career game, new industries pop up, portfolio careers become more and more popular, and more lead by example, we have the opportunity to make these midlife pivots. And you know what? That's pretty awesome.

Ask Clara:

"What does midlife feel like for women?"

I'm So Tired of the Supermom Narrative

I recently came across a post from a female physician talking about how she returned to work at four weeks after her C-section.

As a C-section mom myself, I know what the must have felt like: At four weeks postpartum, I was still bleeding. My breasts were leaking milk. I was exhausted, hormonal, completely unmoored by my new reality. My goal each day was to simply get through it.

So when commenters on the post called the moms who posted a "superhero", I understood it. But I didn't like it.

This is in no way me downplaying how impressive it is, what modern-day moms do. It's just me asking: Why do we glorify mothers doing things that should have never been asked of them? Why do we praise them the most when they do the things that are the most exhausting, the most detrimental to their well-being? Why do we call them superheroes instead of demanding that the system just humanize them?

The idea that doing motherhood "right" means doing it exhausted, overwhelmed, unsupported and at the expense of your own health is nothing new. We receive so many messages as moms (and as women) that tell us we're at our most praise-worthy when we're struggling the most. We're taught to valorize things like sleep deprivation, pushing through pain, and suppressing our own needs in service of everybody else's. Instead of being told "hey, you're being asked to do things that are not good for you", we're told "look at you doing it, Mama! You're supermom."

I've been covering motherhood as a journalist for 11 years now, and here's what I have learned: The way we speak about motherhood and womanhood culturally has the power to move needles. So let's rethink the narratives. Let's unpack the messages and see them for what they really are. Let's stop perpetuating the supermom narrative and remember that expecting mothers to be superhuman in the way they function isn't cute. It's actually harming them in so many ways.

Ask Clara:

"Why is paid leave so important?"

There's One Example Dolly Parton Set That We Shouldn't be Following

There are so many things about Dolly Parton I would love to emulate. Her kindness. Her wisdom. Her formidable talent. Her activism. Her commitment to improving literacy rates. Her quick wit.

But there's one example Parton set that I don't want to follow...and I don't want other women to either.

Parton's death has truly rocked our world, and in the wake of it, we've had so many important conversations about her legacy.

Just ten months before her death, Parton put out a video giving fans a bit of information about her health. "I've got some problems, as I've mentioned," she said. "Back when my husband Carl was sick, that was a long time, and then when he passed, I didn't take care of myself. So I let a lot of things go that I should have been taking care of. So anyway, when I got around to it, the doctor said 'we need to take care of this, we need to take care of that'."

It was revealed after Parton's death that she had been sick with cancer.

So many caregivers, myself included, can relate to this. When you're responsible for someone else, it is so easy to fall into the trap of self-neglect. If someone like Dolly Parton fell into this trap, even with all her resources and all her access, of course everyday people are as well.

But it's imperative that we find a way out of this. We've been conditioned to believe self-care is having your nails done or going to the gym. But what about actually taking care of ourselves? What about going to our appointments? Not ignoring our worrisome symptoms? Getting enough sleep? Eating well?

Those are the things that actually make a difference in the long run.

So let's live like Dolly. Let's remember the best parts of her legacy. But let's also learn from her mistakes.

Ask Clara:

"What is caregiver burnout?"

What the Pumpkin Spice-ification of August is Really About

I sit here in a tank top and shorts, not because it is unseasonably warm today, but because it is, in fact, still the month of August. A month that falls squarely, entirely in the summer season. We still have nearly a month to go before fall officially begins...yet somehow, pumpkin spice lattes are on menus. Halloween decor is everywhere you look. And I'm calling it as I see it: The pumpkin spice-ificiation of August has gone way too far.

Now, listen. I'm a summer girlie over a fall girlie, always. Give me a fresh tomato over a crisp apple. A cold brew with lots of cold foam over a pumpkin spice latte. A strawberry glaze over anything maple-flavored. Give me sun and long days and breezy little dresses.

But that's not all this is about.

I've noticed that we feel this constant need to rush onto the next thing. Halloween decor is out in July, Christmas stuff dominates the shelves in October. Yes, this is about capitalism and overconsumption. There's more to it though: It's also about our need to just look to the next thing instead of stopping to enjoy what's right here, right now.

And right now, I don't want to pretend it's fall and sip a pumpkin-y drink. I want to savor this particular moment. I want to squeeze in a few more pool days and get ice cream for the fourth day in a row. I want to take long evening walks and watch the sun set. I want to be present.

And sure, I can just not order the PSL, or not buy the Halloween decor, or not start saying things like "the summer really flew by" (It is flying by, but why are we speaking about in past tense?). I can mentally stay in summer.

But what I can't change the culture that constantly tells us it's time to move on to the next thing. All I can do is comment on it. So drink the PSL if you're ready for it. But maybe, I don't know, join me in questioning why this is a thing?

Ask Clara:

"When does seasonal depression strike?"

Oreo-Gate is About More Than Just a Kids' Lunchbox

Maybe it's a mom thing, but my algorithm has been full of Oreo-gate content this week. If yours hasn't, a quick breakdown: Oreo-gate refers to this mega-viral video series about a mom group chat. As the name suggests, Oreo cookies are at the center of the drama.

Essentially, the text exchange features a mom requesting that the fellow moms in her group chat stop sending their kids to school with Oreos in their lunchbox. Her own daughter, Ava, isn't allowed Oreos. According to the text exchange, Ava sometimes comes home crying because her friends have Oreos and she's not allowed to have this treat.

As a mom of elementary school kids, I get that it can be hard when your friends are around people who are allowed to do things they're not. As parents, it's tough to reiterate for our kids that we don't all have the same rules.

Unfortunately, this mom decided to take it in a different direction: She continued to harp on her friends for sending Oreos with their kids lunches, even though — last time I checked, at least — what somebody else (or somebody else's kid) eats is actually not something you can dictate.

In the Oreogate videos, the moms ask "why Oreos?" — they wonder why the mom is so insistent that her daughter avoid this specific treat. We never really get a clear answer.

And while most people on the internet are talking about what an absolute Karen the mom is being (which is fair, TBH), I think there's something else at work here. Because maybe it isn't all the mom's fault, even though yeah, she's likely going to pass some weird views about food down to her daughter.

But when we're navigating a world that puts messages about health and wellness and "toxic chemicals" and "junk food" and whatever other moralizing language we're using to describe food these days right in our faces...well, why are we surprised that this particular mom, (just like so many other moms, women, people across the country) has gone a bit off the deep end here?

Is it any wonder that someone is clearly fearful of Oreos when we live in a world with so much fearmongering around food?

Listen, this drama is kind of hilarious, especially because many of the moms involved in it are legitimately funny. I'd encourage you to watch the multi-part series. But also: It's worth thinking critically about what's going on here.

Yes, this mom is acting an absolute fool. But also...maybe we can look to the larger culture to gain a better understanding of why so many people have become so controlling and restrictive where food is concerned.

Ask Clara:

"What's the danger of having a restrictive diet?"

We Should All be Embracing Back to School Season

I haven't been in school since...well, it's been a while. When the end of summer rolls around for me these days, I'm focused on getting my kids ready for a new start.

But this year, I've decided to embrace the back-to-school season myself and I'm inviting you to do the same. At the end of the day, back-to-school season is just what it sounds like: A whole season. It's not just about the actual return to the academic year; it's about a fresh start, and I think we could all use that no matter how old we are (or how long it's been since we've set foot in a classroom).

The other obvious fresh start in the calendar comes at the beginning of the year...but on the heels of the holiday season and when it's freezing cold outside? Who really wants to commit to a fresh start then?

I've written here about why I tend to be anti New Years resolutions, and I've also written about how treating spring as the start of the new year might be a better option. Now, I have a new approach: What if we treated both the spring and the fall as our chances for minor reset? That way, instead of piling all the pressure on one time of year, we get to spread out of chances for newness.

Embracing back-to-school season can look any number of ways: We can implement a new system, we can clean out our homes, we can set a new goal...the beauty is, without the pressure of self improvement that looms over January 1, we get to make the rules for ourselves here.

Here's how I plan on embracing back-to-school season for myself:

• Refreshing my meal containers. I'll be tossing anything that's completely worn and incorporating a few new finds (these look great, and I love the variety of sizes).

• Implementing a midday walk. This summer, I've walked twice a day: First in the mornings, and then while my husband is putting our kids to bed. But as the days get shorter and it gets dark earlier, I'm putting a new routine in place. Having an intentional start to this new routine isn't totally necessary, but I'm excited to see how a midday walk works with my schedule.

• Treating myself to some easy fall staples. You know I live for a matching set, and this long sleeved version is perfect for cooler temps, while this sweatshirt paired with these shorts gives Princess Diana vibes.

• Embracing the notebook. ...Or at least trying to. I took on a new volunteer role at my kids' school and want to try physically writing down things I need to remember in a notebook. We'll see how long it lasts, but eventually, I'd love to go back to being a physical planner/notebook person.

• Finally donating the pile of items that's accumulating in my house. Can someone hold me to this? Please?

Ask Clara:

"What are some healthy habits I can adopt this fall?"

Zara Larsson Drops the Workout Routine — and a Major Reality Check

Zara Larsson and I may share a first name, but we definitely do not share the same physique. Because guess what? No two bodies are the same.

As an international pop star, Larsson obviously lives a very different life than I, a 30-something suburban work-from-home mom, live, and that explains part of why I do not have her abs — not even close. But recently, a lot of people have been wondering what the star's secret is. Specifically, they want her to drop the workout routine.

And she did. But more importantly, she dropped some important context.

"Let's talk about the workout routine," she says in a viral TikTok. "So I just found that I've done 116 shows, 117 tomorrow, over the past year...I was like 'damn, that's a lot'...That's more than enough for me...I don't want to go to the gym."

She's right: Stage performances are hard, physical work. Dancing, working the stage...it takes a lot of energy, strength, and stamina, and undoubtedly plays a role in why the popstar looks so fit. But also...

"Half of it, if not more, is genetics. I'm sorry, like it is what it is...it's kind of useless to compare yourself to other people," she adds. "Because what really matters is how you feel in your body. Do you feel strong? Do you feel capable? Do you feel like you are living your best life?"

Can we get an amen? This is the message we need to hear — especially right now, as certain body types are being glorified and equated with discipline. In reality, we can all do the same thing and eat the same way and look completely different. That's actually a beautiful thing, and when we fall into the comparison game, we lose sight of that.

So let's hear it for Zara Larsson, for delivering the real talk we need. Bodies are different. That's the whole point.

And yeah, we can ask for the workout routine, because clearly whatever she's doing is making her feel strong and hot and giving her the ability to have fun...just as long as it doesn't become about comparison.

Ask Clara:

"What role do genetics play in body type?"

I'm Happily Married and I Hate the "Divorce is Not an Option" Rhetoric

There's something about tradwife-adjacent content that feels strangely addictive. I come across posts in the vein all the time, and I can't seem to just scroll away from them. Not only that, I always find myself fighting the urge to comment, which I know will only increase their engagement. Ragebait, however infuriating it may be, is actually a pretty effective path to virality.

The thing about tradwife content in particular is that it both clearly fits the ragebait category, but it contains just enough seductive imagery and language to make it both get under people's skin and also shift cultural expectations and ideas. And while much has been made of the glorification of financial dependence, I think there's another piece we need to discuss.

"Divorce isn't an option"

"We don't use the 'D' word"

"'Till death do us part, not divorce do us part"

This sort of rhetoric is all over social media, and I think we need to talk about the deeper implications of it. Not just because the women who are making videos to spread this message are approaching their own marriages with this attitude, but also because they're just perpetuating the stigmatization of divorce.

Ending a marriage can be heartbreaking, but it's never a failure. For some women, getting out of the wrong marriage can be the jumpstart they need to reclaim their lives. Sometimes it can literally save their lives.

It's not enough to address the real barriers that prohibit them from leaving: Like the fact that they may not have the financial ability to do so, or that they may lack support, or that they may fear for their safety when trying to leave. It's also about this cultural narrative that tells us that divorce is something that is off limits for "good" women who had the "good sense" to make "good decisions" about who they married.

And this rhetoric isn't just going to shift a culture. It has the power to keep real women in unsafe, unhealthy, unfulfilling, or even dangerous situations.

Ask Clara:

"Is divorce a failure?"

You Can't 'Have it All', But the AOC Discourse is Not It

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is freezing her eggs and this feels like a really big deal. Not because she’s the first public figure to share that she’s doing this because of course she’s not.

What feels so different about Ocasio-Cortez’s egg freezing journey is how she’s letting us in: It feels like the type of vlog-style content we would have seen years ago, the kind we rarely see anymore in the era of polished brand partnership. 

Of course, she’s not an influencer; she’s a politician, and by letting us see into such a personal experience this way, she’s proving why she’s a whole different type of politician, one who has a completely different relationship with the public than what we typically see. 

Maybe that’s why people feel so compelled to weigh in on what she’s doing (oh, who are we kidding? People would weigh in no matter what). 

Specifically, a lot of people are weighing in on the notion of “having it all”. They’re arguing that the #girlboss era convinced women they could put off having children, opting instead to focus on their careers. And you know what? There’s a nugget of truth here. We were raised to believe we could have it all. We were told that egg freezing was an insurance policy. We are now seeing many women who spent loads of money on the technology, only to find it’s not at all a guarantee (though perhaps this is being overstated right now, as Ocasio-Cortez points out.)

Yes, egg freezing isn’t the right option for everyone. It’s worth noting that the congresswoman acknowledges this: She talks openly about how this would not have been a possibility for her years ago, when she was the age many women are when they’re told they ought to freeze their eggs. 

But this can still be a wonderful option for so many people — and ultimately, this woman, just like every other woman, has to figure out the path that is best for her.

That’s what Ocasio-Cortez is doing. She’s not only doing the thing that feels right for her, she’s taking us all along, giving us all the context, sharing a layered look at the whole process…and yes, becoming fodder for conversation about the notion of having it all in the process.

And while I don’t think you actually can "have it all", I know that this is exactly the type of content that helps women realize what pieces of the puzzle are actually right for them.

Ask Clara:

"How successful is egg freezing?"