Is 'Emotional Outsourcing' the New Relationship Trend?

I haven't been single for 14 years, and as you can imagine, the world has changed a lot since then. I see so many obvious shifts, from the change in social behaviors, to the increase in digital dependence....and of course, all that affects how people are dating too.

There's a whole new lexicon, for starters. Ghosting, situationships...and now, emotional outsourcing has entered the chat.

Dating.com released its Millennial Intimacy Forecast for 2026, and coined the term to describe a new dating trend. Here's what emotional outsourcing looks like: Rather than putting all their eggs in one proverbial basket, people may start spreading their energy across multiple connections. 

Data from Dating.com backs this up: Nearly half their survey respondents said they'd be open to splitting their relationships, using one to satisfy their physical needs and another for emotional connection, for example. Enter: Emotional outsourcing, which may occur when a person is in a relationship, but has a digital connection they can open up to in different ways. 

But…is this a recipe for disaster? I have a hard time imagining that things wouldn’t get messy in a situation like this, but as always, communication is key.

“The research found that 40% say having a platonic online soulmate while in a relationship is acceptable, and this is happening more every day. People are finding that they are not emotionally fulfilled in their relationships, so they seek out a person online with whom they have a strictly emotional connection. If both parties are on board, then it can work,” says  Jaime Bronstein, LCSW , resident expert at Dating.com, “Both people need to be honest if they are going to enter into an online relationship while staying committed to each other.”

It sounds complicated, but the expert says this helps some people open up in new ways. 

“I also see that many couples are in open relationships today than ever before,” says Bronstein. “It is becoming a very popular way of life for some couples.”

Ask Clara:

"What is an open relationship?"

The Food Pyramid Just Flipped. Here's What That Means.

You may have seen that the food pyramid — yes, that thing we were all taught about in elementary school but probably haven't really considered since — flipped earlier this month, when the Department of Agriculture released a new set of dietary guidelines.

While the pyramid many of us grew up with featured a base of grains, the updated version places protein, dairy, and produce at the largest point of the pyramid. This isn’t terribly surprising: We have definitely been more focused on protein and fiber intake in recent years. But what does this mean in a larger context?

Our go-to registered dietician Anna Bohengel weighed in on the changes and the larger implications of them.

“The original U.S. food pyramid (1992) emphasized low-fat eating and placed carb-rich foods at the base. A ‘flipped’ pyramid prioritizing protein, fiber-rich plants, and healthy fats is now touted in the wellness world as a course correction — but an important shift already occurred with the USDA’s MyPlate model (2011), which urged filling half the plate with fruits and vegetables, 25% with protein, and 25% with grains,” she says.

When I saw this news, I found myself wondering if it would really have a major effect. After all, most of us don’t spend much time thinking about the food pyramid in adulthood. And when it comes to messages about what we “should” be eating and prioritizing in our diets? Well, it already feels like the advice is constantly changing.

According to Bohnengel, the overall impact of this is debatable. “Adherence is low, with most Americans’ diets falling well short of recommendations,” she says. “That said, a flipped food pyramid could have ripple effects beyond individual choice — it influences what millions of children and families receive through school meals, WIC food packages, and SNAP.” 

We’ll have to see if policy follows suit, according to Bohnengel. But if it does, we could see public health impact from these revised guidelines.

“We could see more protein, produce, and healthy fats replace ultra-refined grains and added sugars that disproportionately contribute to metabolic conditions and nutrient gaps in low-income communities,” says Bohnengel. “Done well, this shift could strengthen preventive cardiometabolic health at the population level.”

Ask Clara:

"How much protein should I be eating?"

Is Drinking Making a Comeback in 2026?

Happy dry January to all those who observe! Interestingly, a month that has become culturally associated with alcohol abstinence has become a month full of conversation about the future of drinking. This is timely: The Trump administration just dropped longtime health recommendations that adults should have no more than two drinks per day.

On my feeds, I see people opting out of dry January and similar challenges. They're vowing to drink more in 2026 — many are sharing a GQ article featuring the headline "Why My 2026 Resolution is to Start Drinking Again". In the article, a health journalist writes of going sober — not because he had a dependency on booze, but because he had too much information about the health impact of alcohol.

But he experienced what many others face when they drop the drinks: They socialize less, perhaps they even feel less at ease in social settings. I think a lot of people are having similar realizations: They ditched alcohol, then realized that what they needed wasn't complete sobriety, but a rest and reevaluation of their relationship with it. 

I have so many thoughts on this. On the one hand, I don't love how "all or nothing" we've become. As a person who turns down booze in favor of water (okay, FINE, Diet Coke), I used to feel like a little bit of an oddball when I was out and about and turned down a drink. People would look at me like I had five heads. Alcohol was such a vital piece of the social fabric, and that always felt a little problematic to me. At the same time, the swift "all alcohol is terrible always" ethos that caught hold in the past year or two also felt a little extreme.

I don't have all the answers about whether when it comes to alcohol, moderation is okay. But I do think we were well overdue for a cultural reset around drinking. When I see people say things like "I tried giving up alcohol but I love a good glass of wine with a nice dinner”, I think "you know what? That's great."

But when I see takes about how hard it is to have fun or socialize without a few drinks — well, I wonder if that's a red flag on a large-scale level. We've become so used to alcohol as a social lubricant, and when you combine that with an increasingly disconnected world, it feels a little alarming to think people are uncomfortable forming connections without alcohol.

I don't have all the answers here, but here's my take. We should be socializing more — we should even be partying more. But alcolhol can be a fun piece of that, I don't think it should be an essential one.

Ask Clara:

"What are the dangers of drinking?"

Wait, Is My "Greatest Weakness" Low-Key My Super Power?

Nearly seven years ago, I decided to quit my full–time job and embrace self-employment. I was doing the stay-at-home mom thing (far and away the hardest job I’ve ever had) while also doing the freelance-business-solopreneur thing…and realizing that I could set my own goals and create my own benchmarks of success was both liberating…and wildly overwhelming.

For me, those benchmarks looked like a monthly income goal. Most months, I exceed the goal. But last year, I fell short of it in both November and December.

And…I didn’t beat myself up about it. Hear me out: I think this moment actually made me view a lifelong “weakness” of mine through a whole new lens.

I have never been a competitive person. I’m not exceptionally driven. I don’t bulldoze my way to opportunities at the expense of my peace, my relationships, or my rest. I guess you could say I’m a little soft. A type C girlie living in a world that consistently rewards type A perfectionism...and makes women feel like without it, they'll never succeed. 

I’ve always viewed my softness as my greatest failing. I wish I could be the type of person who could be so singularly focused on every goal, nothing stands a chance of getting in the way of them. But…I’m not.

The reason I didn’t meet my goals? My kids were barely in school  in November and December (iykyk) and I prioritized time  with them over work. I also had a lot of awful migraine days in November, and I decided to care for myself instead of pushing myself to work through debilitating pain. 

I was still a professional in these months, but more than that, I was a caregiver — for my children, my aging parent who needs a bit of help…and for myself too. 

So yeah. I fell short of my goals. But this experience taught me something else: It’s okay for the goals to be fluid. It’s okay to be the kind of person who isn’t terribly hard on themself when the metrics are not hit. In fact….maybe it’s a bit of a super power. Millennial women are notoriously hard on themselves, and I am no exception. But maybe the thing I’ve been so hard on myself about is actually…well, not a bad thing after all. 

Ask Clara:

"What does burnout look like in women?"

Barbie is Delivering Much-Needed Autism Representation to Young Girls

Representation matters — especially for kids.

Take it from someone who never saw myself represented in the pop culture that reigned when I was growing up: Kids who don’t see themselves reflected anywhere can easily start to feel like they don’t belong, or even that they are unworthy.

That’s why I’m cheering over the news that Barbie has partnered with ASAN (Autistic Self-Advocacy Network) to create a Barbie doll with autism. 

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Autism is a complex, often invisible condition. How can that be represented with a doll? 

According to a post announcing this release, the Barbie has elements that represent some things people with autism may relate to: She wears noise-cancelling headphones, which some people with autism rely on to reduce sensory overload, and carries a fidget spinner, which may be a familiar sensory outlet for people with autism.

The Barbie also has a shifted gaze (as people with autism may struggle to make direct eye contact), wears a dress that represents sensory-sensitive clothing, and carries a Augmentative and Alternative Communication tablet, which some people use as a communication tool.

This is especially beneficial because so often in our cultural depictions of autism, we see boys — and that isn’t just a representation thing; it goes deeper.

The condition tends to present differently in girls. According to the Child Mind Institute, more boys are diagnosed with autism than girls, but not necessarily because there are boys with the condition. Girls tend to be better at masking signs of autism, and they’re also more likely to have their symptoms dismissed by doctors. Isn’t it funny how the health care and behavioral gender gaps begin in childhood?

But with this Barbie, maybe we are making strides towards better understanding how the condition presents in girls and women — and giving young girls a tangible piece of representation to help them feel less isolated.

Ask Clara:

"What is the gender health care gap?"

'Admin Night' is Trending and Here's Why It's Beneficial

Have you come across the term "admin night?". If not, a quick breakdown: Admin night refers to casual get-togethers where friends hang out and tackle their life and household admin work — think scheduling appointments, paying bills, sending emails — together.

This is gaining traction for several reasons: One, it allows people to see their friends more, which is always a plus in our book. Two, it helps people stay accountable, put their heads down, and get stuff done. Friendship and household admin are two things that can easily fall to the bottom on our list of priorities (when competing with work, parenting, caregiving, fitness, etc), and this trend allows people to carve out time for both in one fell swoop.

Some people say this is particularly beneficial for people with ADHD, thanks to the practice of "body doubling", which is a productivity strategy for people with the condition. 

According to materials from Cleveland Clinic, body doubling occurs when you complete a task in the presence of another person, and it's a form of external executive functioning. Since ADHD affects the part of the brain that oversees executive functioning, adding another person in close proximity to you can help create a more focused environment.

Listen, we're all for this. We believe in the value of investing in friendship, and we love that the "admin night" trend makes so much of the invisible, underappreciated labor women take on disproportionately a bit more...well, visible. It acknowledges that we all have a ton of admin work to do, and that this work takes time.

Want to plan an admin night of your own? Go for it! And have fun with it. Encourage everyone to wear cozy pajamas or a matching sweat set, have tons of snacks, and keep it super casual. And remember: You're not just getting stuff done, you're also reaping the health benefits of friendship. A win/win.

Ask Clara:

"What are the benefits of female friendship?"

Ilona Maher Just Healed a Piece of My Lifelong Body Insecurity

I have a confession: I have always, always been very self-conscious of my stomach. It’s just…never been flat. Not when I was a teenager, and certainly not after birthing twins.

For most of my life, I’ve felt like I’m the odd one out, probably because I’ve been fed so many images of perfectly flat, edited, airbrushed images. And clearly, those images have affected the way we expect women’s bodies to look.

See: The fact that when a woman dares to have a visible belly outline, the world loves to tell her she “looks pregnant”. This recently happened to Ilona Maher, our body inclusive queen who always, always has the perfect clap back. Here’s the comment she directed to the man (of course it was a man) who body-shamed her.

“So to him, I say, ‘That's just a normal woman's body. You probably haven't seen a woman naked in a long time, if ever, and I hope you never get the privilege to again, 'cause that's just how we are, okay?’ ” Maher said.

And you know what? Heck yes! This *is* what a normal, healthy, strong body looks like.

We have been so conditioned to think we have to hide any shape through our bellies away from the world, or do a cleanse before we’re going to be in a bikini, or suck it in at all times. But the reality is, bellies have a whole range of shapes and it’s all normal.

With her clap back, Maher honestly healed a little part of me…and I wish I could have heard this type of thing when I was growing up. 

“I always have this, okay?” Maher said of her stomach. “I'm sucking it in right now. And I have it, so, please, please, stop commenting the dumbest stuff.”

Yup. What she said. 

Ask Clara:

"Why is my belly not flat?"

A New Study Reveals Serious Dangers Linked to Tanning Beds

The idea that tanning beds can increase your risk of melanoma is nothing new. We of course know that when it comes to skin safety, both natural sunlight and tanning beds carry significant risks — risks that outweigh the aesthetic benefits of a golden glow. But, important update time: New research suggests that tanning beds present even greater dangers than we anticipated.

Recent research from Northwestern Medicine and University of California, San Francisco finds evidence to challenge a long-held belief that tanning beds are no more dangerous than sunlight.

The study's first author, Pedram Gerami, MD, has noticed high numbers of women under 50 with histories of multiple melanomas in his work. This inspired Dr. Gerami and his research team to compare medical records of tanning bed users against records of those with no history of indoor tanning. Melanoma was diagnosed in 5.1 percent of tanning bed users compared to 2.1 percent of non-users observed. 

Dr. Gerami and his team were able to learn more thanks to the women who donated their biopsies to help him better understand this relationship. 

In an abstract for this news, the researchers point out a few things: One, the indoor tanning industry is making a comeback. Two, many of the women who had melanoma later in life started tanning in their teens. Dr. Gerami believes at the very least, indoor tanning should be illegal for minors. To me, this makes perfect sense: Minors don’t have the ability to truly understand the lifelong risks. And if this research is any indication, they’re even greater than we previously thought.

What’s the takeaway here? You may be seeing indoor tanning places pop up, but please consider this research before tanning this way. And also, let’s take this deeper: This represents yet another way women put themselves at risk in pursuit of an unrealistic beauty standard.

As one woman who donated her biopsy to Dr. Gerami’s research shared, many of us started using tanning beds multiple times a week in our teens because “it felt like that’s what made you beautiful,’ says 49-year-old Heidi Tarr, a melanoma survivor.

If you’ve used a tanning bed, don’t panic. What’s done is done. But Dr. Gerami advises anyone who has used a tanning bed have a full body scan done by their dermatologist.

Ask Clara:

"What is the safest way to tan your skin?"

The 'Toxic Mom Group' is Proof: The Female Frenemy Obsession is Following Us Into Middle Age

I grew up on female frenemy stories. There was Gossip Girl’s Blair and Serena, One Tree Hill’s Peyton and Brooke, Laguna Beach’s Lauren and Kristin (and eventually Lauren and Heidi, IYKYK). 

Pitting women against one another is the patriarchy’s favorite tool, yet women devour the “fraught female friendship” trope with a special kind of glee (and listen — I’m not above this myself!). 

That’s why I’m not surprised at all by the virality of the article Ashley French (better known as Ashley Tisdale) wrote. It’s the intersection of juicy celeb gossip and “hey, what a perfect opportunity to pit women against one another”, two things we love on a cultural level.

But the thing that is so striking to me about the whole “toxic friend group” debacle is that while my fellow millennial women and I have grown up, the frenemy obsession hasn’t evolved much. We still love to pick sides and dig into the details and assign the “mean girl” label. If reactions to this story are any indication, we’re not shaking the frenemy obsession anytime soon. 

Why does this matter? Well, because female friendships deserve better PR. They aren’t just nice to have, they actually bring so many important health benefits. We’ve covered these before, but today I want to talk about how we would much rather fixate on the nasty side of female friendships rather than the wonderful side. 

I’ve never seen any dissection of male friendships, certainly not on the level of what we see around “toxic” female friendships. So what gives?

The issue here isn’t the toxic mom group itself. Friendships aren’t perfect, and it’s normal to move in and out of groups. It’s the fact that this “toxic mom group” story, and so many others, captivate us on such a massive level. And even though we are grown women, it all feels, as French puts it herself, very high school.

We’ve grown and evolved — yet the world won’t let us outgrow the female frenemy trope.

Ask Clara:

"What are the benefits of female friendship?"

Dr. Janell Green Smith's Death is Tragic. It's Also Infuriating.

Dr. Janell Green Smith made combatting the maternal mortality crisis — which disproportionately affects Black women — her life’s work. On January 2, Smith died of childbirth complications during her first child’s birth. She was 31 years old.

Smith was a Black midwife and a maternal health advocate — a person who could have made so many more strides in the fight against Black maternal mortality had she not been a victim of the very thing she worked to prevent. Her death isn’t just a tragedy; it’s also an infuriating wake-up call.

A tribute from The American College of Nurse-Midwives states: “That a Black midwife and maternal health expert died after giving birth in the United States is both heartbreaking and unacceptable. Her death underscores the persistent and well-documented reality that Black women—regardless of education, income, or professional expertise—face disproportionate risks during pregnancy and childbirth due to systemic racism and failures in care.”

And that’s just what it is: Smith had all the education and information and tools, yet it wasn’t enough. 

This is the reality women of color, but especially Black women, face in healthcare settings. It’s a constant uphill battle: No matter how much you know or learn or advocate, there’s this deep understanding that you will not be taken seriously. That you will not be cared for or kept safe…or even kept alive.

There’s a lot of discourse right now about the declining birth rate, to which I say this: Don’t try to convince women to have children. Fix the systems. The systems that put our bodies and lives at risk. The systems that fail women like Dr. Janell Green Smith every day.

How can we honor this woman’s legacy? We can continue her fight. The United States has the highest maternal mortality rate among high-income nations, and racial disparities have persisted. That’s unacceptable. We owe it to Smith and the other victims of the maternal mortality crisis to continue the fight and to demand better. 

Ask Clara:

"What is the maternal mortality crisis?"