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June at Rescripted is all about sexual health, including the highs, lows, and everything in between. See what we did there? Speaking of everything in between, if you have ever experienced the urge to pee during an orgasm, you might be wondering, "Why did that happen, and how can I prevent it from happening again?" Not to worry; we're here to help you get to the bottom of this not-so-uncommon sexual phenomenon.
So, why might you feel like you need to pee during sex?
1. Peeing during an orgasm can be linked to incontinence
A common reason why someone — specifically folks with vulvas — may pee or experience urine leakage during orgasm is because of incontinence, often due to weaker bladder or pelvic floor muscles. “When combined with the additional pressure that sexual stimulation can put against the urethra and bladder, especially with the muscle contractions that the pelvic floor experiences during orgasm and/or the pressure of something inside the body during penetrative play, this can trigger urination,” says Lisa Finn, sex educator for Babeland. A fancy word for this is coital incontinence.
2. Sometimes it might feel like pee; however, it’s probably just ejaculation fluid
During sex you might feel like you just peed yourself, but in many instances, that’s actually not the case.
“Vulva ejaculate isn’t 'just pee,' says Queen. “While it can contain urea, it comes from the Skene’s glands and contains some of the same components as semen, like prostatic fluids.”
This fluid is usually watery, clear, or yellow and tends to be odorless unlike pee which can have a mild ammonia smell.
3. Try peeing beforehand to see if that helps with the sensation of having to go during sex
Sometimes the sensation of orgasm, especially ejaculation or squirting, can feel similar to having to pee, since the liquid is expelled through the urethral opening. “Peeing beforehand can help you to feel more confident that the fluid is (or is mostly) ejaculate and not urine,” says Carol Queen, PhD, Good Vibrations sexologist.
4. Strengthening your pelvic floor muscles can be your first line of defense
If you notice that you pee when you orgasm, then it’s safe to say you’ll want to figure out how to prevent it from happening in the future. Strengthening the pelvic floor muscles is one of the first lines of defense — and yes, that probably includes kegel exercises.
“Make sure that you are targeting your pelvic floor by isolating those muscles (without engaging your abs or glutes), you’re breathing through your exercises, that you’re taking your time and working slowly and consistently to your goals,” says Finn. “Remember to relax your muscles just as much as engage them — you want your pelvic floor to be strong, not tense.”
Other ways to strengthen your pelvic floor include transverse abdominis contractions, glute bridges, and diaphragmatic breathing. You’ll want to consult with your doctor or OB/GYN before doing these exercises to rule out any underlying conditions that might be causing this problem (ie. overactive bladder, nocturia, bladder pain, etc.)
5. Adding lube to your routine can also work to prevent peeing during sex
Believe it or not, adding a bit of extra lube into your routine can reduce your chances of peeing during sex. Too much friction can make the bladder more reactive during penetration whether that’s with another person or a sex toy. Plus, you can make it a bit more fun by opting for a scented version, whether that’s pineapple or chocolate!
Casey Clark is a freelance writer from New York City who specializes in beauty, food, and lifestyle content in the commerce sector. Her work has been featured in Women’s Health, Allure, Cosmopolitan, SELF and more. When she’s not writing, you can find her swatching the latest lipsticks or out to brunch with her girlfriends.