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Starting a family looks different for everyone. For some, it happens quickly and easily, while others face unexpected challenges along the way. If you've been trying for a while without success, you might be wondering about other options, like IVF. It’s a big step, and it’s completely understandable if you’re feeling lost or overwhelmed about where to start.
Let’s talk about IVF so you can figure out if it might be the right option to grow your family. We’ll keep things simple and walk you through what to expect if you decide to go for it.
What exactly is IVF?
Let’s start with a little IVF education. IVF stands for in vitro fertilization — a type of assisted reproductive technology where eggs are retrieved from a woman's ovaries and fertilized with sperm in a lab. The resulting embryos are then transferred back into the uterus, hopefully leading to a successful pregnancy.
IVF has been around since the 1970s and has helped millions of people become parents. While it’s not a guaranteed solution, it can significantly improve the chances of pregnancy for many couples and individuals struggling with infertility.
When to consider IVF
Okay, so when does IVF actually make sense? Here are some of the usual reasons:
You’ve been trying for a while
If you’re under 35 and have been trying to conceive for a year without success, or if you’re over 35 and have been trying for six months, it might be time to talk to a fertility specialist about your options.
You have known fertility issues
Certain medical conditions — like blocked fallopian tubes, endometriosis, PCOS, or low sperm count or motility — can make it harder to get pregnant naturally.
Did you know? Not all retrieved eggs will become viable embryos. During an IVF cycle, many eggs may be retrieved, but not all will fertilize or develop into viable embryos. On average, only about 30–50% of retrieved eggs make it to the blastocyst stage, which is why multiple eggs are typically needed for a successful outcome.
You’re getting older
Fertility naturally declines with age. If you’re in your late 30s or early 40s and want to have a baby, IVF might help improve your chances.
Other fertility treatments haven’t worked
If you’ve already tried options like fertility medications or intrauterine insemination (IUI) without getting pregnant, IVF might be the next step.
You have a genetic condition
IVF allows for genetic testing of embryos, which can help prevent certain inherited diseases.
You’re a same-sex couple or a single person
IVF can be a great option for LGBTQ+ couples or single individuals who need assistance conceiving.
What to expect during IVF
First, you’ll take medications to help your ovaries produce multiple eggs. Then, those eggs will be retrieved with a quick procedure. If you have a male partner, he'll provide a sperm sample, or you can use donor sperm.
Next, the eggs and sperm are combined in a lab to create embryos. The embryos are monitored for a few days as they develop. After that, one or more embryos are transferred into your uterus. Then comes the hard part: the “two-week wait” to take a pregnancy test and see if it worked.
Keep in mind, IVF can be physically and emotionally demanding. There are medications to take, appointments to keep, and procedures to undergo. It can also be expensive, and even after all that, pregnancy isn’t guaranteed. But for many people, the possibility of having a baby makes it all worthwhile.
How to prepare for IVF
IVF is a big decision for everyone involved. If you have a partner, make sure you’re both on the same page. Next, do your research — learn about the process, what to expect, and your chances of success. Understanding the details can help you feel more in control.
Finding a fertility clinic you trust is also key. Look for experienced providers and don’t hesitate to ask questions. IVF can be an emotional rollercoaster, so think about who you want in your support system.
And don’t forget to take care of yourself! Eating well, staying active, and finding ways to reduce stress can support your overall health and improve your chances of success with IVF.
The emotional side
It’s completely normal to experience a mix of emotions when considering or going through IVF. One day, you might feel hopeful, and the next, anxious or frustrated. Some people struggle with the fact that they need IVF to conceive, while others feel grateful for the opportunity.
There’s no right or wrong way to feel. Just be kind to yourself and reach out for support if you need it. Many fertility clinics offer counseling services, and there are plenty of support groups where you can connect with others on a similar journey.
Deciding whether to pursue IVF is a deeply personal choice. There’s no one-size-fits-all answer, and what’s right for one person may not be the best path for another. Exploring IVF doesn’t mean you have to go through with it — learning about your options can help you make an informed decision.
It’s okay to take your time, to change your mind, and to lean on the people who support you. Whatever happens, know that there are resources and a community ready to help you along the way.
Blair Sharp is a freelance writer who lives in Minnesota with her husband and son. Her words have been published in various publications, including Parents, SheKnows, The Bump, and Insider. You can find her watching reality TV and sharing too many reels with her friends when she's not writing. To connect with Blair, find her on LinkedIn or head to her website www.blairsharp.com.