Vibrators are one of the most well-known sex toys for good reason. When your hand or even your partner just isn’t cutting it — or simply when you feel like it — vibrators are always up for the challenge.
Vibrators are also a pretty powerful form of self-care. It’s just you and a handy sidekick, figuring out what feels good and doing more of it.
How to use a vibrator: A beginner's guide
With so many vibrators to choose from and countless ways to use them, getting started may feel a bit daunting. Below are 10 helpful tips for how to choose one and then put it to good use. Use code RESCRIPT to get 50% off the toy of your choice at Adam & Eve!
1. Explore different kinds of vibrators
What gets one person off may not do it for someone else. That’s why there are many different vibrator options to choose from. Variations can include shape, material, vibration settings, stimulation area, and add-on arms or teasers. Vibrators can be battery-operated, rechargeable, or use a cord and plug. The vibrator world is your oyster.
Maybe you’ll fall in love with the first one you try. Maybe it’ll take a few vibrator trials to find the right one for you. Or maybe you’ll have a collection for every day of the week and then some.
Whatever you’re looking for, here are a few categories (and my picks for each) to consider when getting started on your search:
Traditional vibrators
Traditional vibrators are long, come in a variety of girths, and contain multiple speeds of vibration. If you’re not sure about size, you can experiment with your fingers to see what feels good and comfortable.
My pick: For anyone new to vibrators — or for those wanting to round out their collections — the Adam & Eve Velvet Kiss Vibrator is the classically satisfying and silky-smooth way to go.
Realistic vibrators
Realistic vibrators look like actual penises, veins and all. Because of their shape, they also work great as dildos (with vibration turned off).
My pick: Eve's Slim Pink Pleaser Vibrator will bring you that realistic texture in a decidedly unrealistic (and very fun) bright pink.
Anal/prostate vibrators
Anal/prostate vibrators put direct stimulation on — you guessed it — the prostate gland. The prostate gland is located a few inches inside the anus. Anal/prostate vibrators are especially good for people with prostates because they’re designed for that anatomy.
My pick: The Adam & Eve 3 Point Prostate Massager is great because of its multiple heads and motors, ergonomic shape, and 10 vibration settings. This toy lets users determine exactly how intense the stimulation is, making it perfect for beginners through pros.
G-spot vibrators
G-spot vibrators are designed to stimulate the highly sensitive G-spot, which is located a few inches up the front wall of the vagina. When you’re aroused, your G-spot will be easy to find. You’ll feel a ridged area about the size of a walnut.
My pick: The Adam & Eve Silicone G-Gasm Rabbit is a soft-and-sleek choice for blended orgasms from G-spot and clitoral stimulation (an earth-shattering combo, I might add).
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Rabbit vibrators
Rabbit vibrators (made famous by Sex and the City) are dual purpose. They stimulate the G-spot with the tip of the shaft and stimulate the clitoris with the bunny ears.
My pick: Eve's Rechargeable Thrusting Rabbit is a winner because of realistic thrusting and separate motors for G-spot and clitoral stimulation.
Wand vibrators
Wand vibrators typically have tennis-ball-shaped heads and veeeery strong vibrations. Because of their shape, they can easily be used all over the body — even for full-body massage.
My pick: The Adam & Eve Magic Massager Deluxe 8x is bigger, better, and more powerful than any other wand vibrator you’ll come across (and because of).
Clitoral vibrators
Many types of vibrators put direct stimulation on the clitoris. The clitoris is a small organ with 8,000 nerve endings, located at the top of the vulva. A lot of people with vulvas need clitoral stimulation to get off. Clitoral vibrators do just that and come in many shapes. Bullets and eggs are two of the most common (both named for their shape).
My pick: Some clitoral vibrators are textured and come with add-ons, like Eve's Ravishing Clit Flicking Rose. With a tongue-shaped teaser and nine vibrations, pulsations, and patterns, this toy targets the clitoris and vibrates throughout the vulva for intense, full-bodied orgasms.
2. Clean the vibrator before using it
Before using a new vibrator, gently clean it using warm water and mild soap or a toy-specific cleanser. Try not to get the battery compartment or the controls wet. When you’re done cleaning the vibrator, dry it off with a lint-free towel.
Cleaning vibrators before and after using them will help the product have a longer shelf life and reduce the chances of spreading bacteria.
3. Consider if you want to use a condom with the vibrator
Condoms make vibrators easier to clean, but they could impact how using it feels. During partnered play, using fresh condoms when each of you uses a toy can help decrease the risk of spreading bacteria.
4. Get comfortable
Get into a comfortable position that feels relaxing. Lying on your back or stomach are good places to start.
5. Apply lube
Many sex experts recommend applying lube for all sexual experiences, toys included. Lube acts as a backup for the lubricant your body produces when aroused. While not everyone needs lube to enjoy vibrators, it’s best to use it as you figure out how your body responds. Lube is especially important for penetration of the vagina or the anus. In both situations, you’ll want to feel that fullness safely and comfortably.
Water-based lubes are the best choice for all vibrators because they go well with any material. There are special thicker and longer-lasting lubes for anal/prostate vibrators.
6. Begin exploring
Now it’s time to play. There are a few ways to experiment with how you use your vibrator. Mix and match until you find the right combination for you.
Settings
Start with the lowest setting and introduce the vibrator to your nipples, inner thighs, and the area around your vagina. If you feel like it, you can switch to different settings to figure out what you want to experience more of. Settings can vary in not just vibration intensity, but also in pulsations and patterns.
Spot
Gently touch the vibrator to your vulva, teasing yourself or rubbing in an up-and-down pattern. See how it feels to focus the vibrations on and around your clit. Move the vibrator to other areas of your body if you’re interested in how that might feel. If you like something, keep doing it.
Movements
Vibrators do most of the work for you, but the angles and movements of the toy and your body can make things feel so much better. Try holding the vibrator steady or moving it in circles, strokes, or taps. Experiment with thrusting your hips as you move the vibrator around.
Pressure
Does softer or harder feel better for you? Does a little bit of both do the trick? Apply different pressures until you find the right one (or combination) for you.
7. Insert the vibrator into your vagina (if you want to)
Sometimes, vaginal penetration will be what you need to reach orgasm. If you’re interested in exploring penetration with a vibrator, first, apply more lube to the toy and yourself. Then slowly and gently insert the vibrator into your vagina. See what depth brings you the most pleasure.
Traditional, G-spot, and rabbit vibrators are the best options for penetration, but penetration-focused attachments are also available for wand vibrators.
As with any penetration, stay in tune with the boundaries between pleasure and pain. If something hurts, stop doing it. You may need to use more lube, spend more time building arousal, or try a different toy. Talk to a healthcare provider if you often have pain during penetration. You deserve to have joyful pleasure.
8. Use the vibrator with another toy
Blended orgasms are an intense kind of climax from simultaneous stimulation of different areas. For example, you can pair a bullet vibrator with a G-spot vibrator to target both areas at once. G-spot vibrators with clitoris-stimulating add-ons and rabbit vibrators are built for this.
9. Use the vibrator with a partner
Vibrators aren’t just for solo play. You can use a bullet or egg vibrator for clitoral stimulation while having penis-in-vagina sex with a partner. You can insert a vibrator into your vagina while having anal sex. You can also use a vibrator on your partner — or vice versa — as part of foreplay or nonpenetrative sex.
10. Clean the vibrator before putting it away
Just like you started, finish things up by washing the vibrator with warm water and mild soap or a special cleanser for sex toys.
If you’ve never used a vibrator before, it may feel overwhelming to know where to begin. Use code RESCRIPT to get 50% off the toy of your choice at Adam & Eve, and follow these tips to help kickstart your journey to treating yourself to the pleasure you deserve. With or without a partner, finding the right vibrator for you can be an empowering way to take a leading role in your own self-care. And that’s something to celebrate.
Sarah duRivage-Jacobs is a sexual and reproductive health writer, educator, and communicator. In addition to Rescripted, her words can be found on the blogs of reproductive health and mental health companies like Modern Fertility, Hey Jane, Millie, Carrot, Origin, O.school, and Charlie Health. You can visit her website here.
