I'm Happily Married and I Hate the "Divorce is Not an Option" Rhetoric

There's something about tradwife-adjacent content that feels strangely addictive. I come across posts in the vein all the time, and I can't seem to just scroll away from them. Not only that, I always find myself fighting the urge to comment, which I know will only increase their engagement. Ragebait, however infuriating it may be, is actually a pretty effective path to virality.

The thing about tradwife content in particular is that it both clearly fits the ragebait category, but it contains just enough seductive imagery and language to make it both get under people's skin and also shift cultural expectations and ideas. And while much has been made of the glorification of financial dependence, I think there's another piece we need to discuss.

"Divorce isn't an option"

"We don't use the 'D' word"

"'Till death do us part, not divorce do us part"

This sort of rhetoric is all over social media, and I think we need to talk about the deeper implications of it. Not just because the women who are making videos to spread this message are approaching their own marriages with this attitude, but also because they're just perpetuating the stigmatization of divorce.

Ending a marriage can be heartbreaking, but it's never a failure. For some women, getting out of the wrong marriage can be the jumpstart they need to reclaim their lives. Sometimes it can literally save their lives.

It's not enough to address the real barriers that prohibit them from leaving: Like the fact that they may not have the financial ability to do so, or that they may lack support, or that they may fear for their safety when trying to leave. It's also about this cultural narrative that tells us that divorce is something that is off limits for "good" women who had the "good sense" to make "good decisions" about who they married.

And this rhetoric isn't just going to shift a culture. It has the power to keep real women in unsafe, unhealthy, unfulfilling, or even dangerous situations.