A 19-Year-Old Stay-at-Home Wife is Going Viral and We Need to Talk About It

If you've been on a certain app recently, you've likely seen a video of a (very young) woman talking about how she's 19 years old with no degree, no job, and one husband. The woman is, by her own admission, exactly where she wants to be.

And you know what? Maybe she truly is living out her dreams. Maybe it'll continue to go well for her.

But the people of the Internet? They have thoughts. They're calling the move reckless, dangerous, stupid.

I think they have a point; I just don't love how they're making said point...and what they're leaving out of the conversation.

Attacking women for their choices is easy. What's harder — but ultimately better — is realizing that choices don't exist in a vacuum. That our choices, as well as the outcomes around them, are deeply influenced by context. This particular woman is clearly wealthy, she's white, she's married under the laws of the United States (which give women legal avenues to leave their marriages if they no longer serve them), and (this is the piece most people are neglecting to mention) she's getting a lot of attention on social media, and this type of attention can typically be parlayed into a career.

I'm not worried about this woman. I am worried about the other women — girls, actually — who may see this romantic, aestheticized view of this tradwife-y content and think this is the only answer. Because maybe marrying young and forgoing education and career is a possible path to happiness...but more often, it's not. These are the things we need to be talking about: How so many additional factors affect how women can navigate their choices...and who ultimately has choices, and safety nets to rely on if they change their minds.

There is no risk-free way to build your life and no right age to get married, but I would strongly encourage young women to take their time. Nothing can truly replace the years between childhood and full-on adulthood — the years you spend living along and figuring out who you want to be, and feeling truly independent for the first (and perhaps last) time in your whole life. I won't shame women who opt not to do it this way...but I will continue to talk about why the ability to stand on your own two feet matters.