Egg freezing is not just a physically and financially demanding process. It is also an extremely emotional experience, where taking care of your mental health becomes crucial.
Egg freezing can also take on different meanings for different people. Maybe you’re freezing your eggs because you and your partner would like to grow your family someday but aren’t quite ready yet. Maybe you're freezing your eggs because you would like to start a family on your own and are thinking about exploring the donor process, or maybe you're freezing your eggs as the first step in fertility treatment. Whatever your reason may be, fertility preservation is becoming more widely discussed among celebrities, influencers, and more.
Mental health for egg freezing: Tips from a therapist
Still, self-care practices during egg freezing can still feel so confusing and gray — with women often left wondering, “What do I need to do to take care of myself during this mentally taxing time?” Keep reading for practical tips from a licensed mental health counselor who has been there.
Support, support, support
Whether you are in or out of a relationship, egg freezing can feel like an exceptionally lonely and isolating process. Many women feel misunderstood and withdrawn from their everyday lives, like they can only focus on the egg freezing process itself. Support from partners, family, friends, and even co-workers is essential during this time.
While gearing up to start the process, it can be so helpful to talk to someone who has gone through the experience before you. Finding peers who have been in your shoes can not only be highly comforting and bonding, but it can also provide like-minded education and debunk myths that might be causing you anxiety. It’s important to lean on loved ones you can trust to talk through any and all emotions that may come up for you during this time. You can even find support through online or in-person support groups!
When the time comes to begin the procedure, pick a support person (or a team made up of various people in your life) to learn how to do the shots with you. Having others there with you during the daily medications, whether physically or on FaceTime, can help you feel surrounded with positivity and love, as well as more grounded and “seen” in your space.
Planning ahead
Knowing what’s ahead for you can be a powerful tool amidst fertility preservation. When so much is out of our control, we tend to look for other ways to gain control to ease the chaos in our minds and soothe ourselves. Instead, try to focus on controlling what you can control and remember: "This, too, shall pass!"
Egg freezing can feel so new and unfamiliar, so it’s best to be aware of what else you have going on in your life during that time. Arm yourself with knowledge! Fertility preservation, while incredible, can cause some physical and mental discomfort, so know that this may not be your most productive or active time.
Plan your egg freezing during a period at work where you have the mental capacity to take care of yourself. It may also be helpful to schedule the process in a month where you don’t have prior family or friend commitments, and space and time to do the things and be with the people that feel best to you.
Go out and buy yourself your favorite snacks to have in the house for the days when you aren’t feeling your best, indulge and spend the day in bed if you need, or go for a walk with your partner or best friend that helps lift you up and brings out your best self.
Letting yourself feel
Relaxation and stress reduction are imperative before, during, and after egg freezing. Stress causes an increase in cortisol, which can increase inflammation and lower your immune system (the last thing you want to happen during egg freezing). Give yourself permission to feel whatever comes to mind, no matter if that’s anxiety, fear, or excitement. What’s important is that you can recognize the emotion, acknowledge it, and understand why it’s there without self-judgment.
It is also important to listen to your body and mind. Pay attention to your body when it’s telling you what you want to eat and if you're in the mood to go for a jog vs. lay on the couch and watch a movie. If you feel like crying, cry, and if you have the urge to laugh with a friend then do it! There’s no right or wrong when it comes to your emotions.
Therapy is also a significantly helpful and effective tool during the egg freezing process. Having a therapist who can support and challenge you to understand what you are going through can be essential during such a new experience.
When it comes to freezing your eggs, there is so much anxiety and fear that can come from walking into a completely unknown experience. No matter how prepared you may be, somehow the process can still feel so mysterious and surreal. At the end of the day, you are embarking on this journey for the possibility of something beautiful, whatever that may look like for you. Keeping in mind your end goal will always help you see the bright light at the end of the tunnel.
Jordanne Sculler is a Licensed Psychotherapist and Relationship Expert based in New York City. If you are seeking support or want to learn more about her practice, you can schedule an appointment at www.jordannescullerlmhc.com. For daily tips, follow @jordannesculler on Instagram.
