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Let’s face it: pregnancy after loss can make for a complex and emotionally charged nine months. While the joy of a new pregnancy is undeniable, it often comes intertwined with a wide range of feelings stemming from past grief.
First, it’s crucial to recognize that these difficult (and often opposing) emotions are completely normal and valid. However, there are ways to honor these feelings while also making room for joy and happiness on your pregnancy journey.
Read on for expert tips on incorporating mindfulness into your daily routine during pregnancy after loss.
Understanding the emotional complexity
It’s important to remember that two things can be true at once: You can grieve the pregnancy you lost while cultivating joy about the baby currently growing in your belly.
Shula Melamed, MA, MPH, Relationship & Well-Being Coach at Headspace, emphasizes this point, stating, "Grief does not go away when people are experiencing positive moments; for example, one can grieve the loss of a previous pregnancy, even if they have achieved their goal of getting pregnant again. It can feel complex and taboo — a mix of joy, sadness, grief, and sometimes even guilt."
It's important to acknowledge these feelings without judgment, allowing yourself the space to process both excitement and sorrow simultaneously.
The power of mindfulness in healing
If you’re in the early weeks of a new pregnancy, uncertainty and anxiety may be running high. Mindfulness practices like meditation can play a pivotal role in the emotional healing process during this time. Melamed explains, "Mindfulness practices can bring us back to the present moment by helping us focus on what is going on right then. While healing from a miscarriage, someone might replay what they could or should have done to avoid that outcome, when in reality, it was very much out of their control."
Through meditation, you can learn to observe your thoughts and feelings without becoming overwhelmed by them. Mindfulness allows you to acknowledge your past experiences while remaining grounded in the present moment, fostering a sense of balance and emotional resilience.
Practical mindfulness techniques
If you’re unsure of where to start, Melamed recommends several specific mindfulness techniques for those navigating pregnancy after loss:
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Breathwork: This simple yet powerful practice connects you to your breath, helping you ground yourself in the present moment and tap into your inner strength.
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Body scan meditation: This technique allows you to feel present in your body by systematically focusing your attention on different parts of your body. It can help you reconnect with your physical self and cultivate a sense of bodily awareness.
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Mindful movement: Engaging in gentle, mindful exercise or movement can help you feel more connected to your body. This could be as simple as a walk in nature or a calming yoga session.
She adds, "The goal is to remind yourself that your body is your friend, and you are creating a new relationship with it." These practices can help you develop a more compassionate and nurturing relationship with your body as it gets ready to bring a new life into the world.
The importance of support systems
While mindfulness practices are invaluable, the role of a strong support system should not be underestimated. Melamed emphasizes, "Support groups can be incredibly helpful in empowering women to process painful and taboo subjects by giving them the space to speak freely in a welcoming community."
Partners also play an important role in the journey of pregnancy after loss. Melamed shares: "Intimacy after a pregnancy loss can require a bit more care and communication than one might think. Be honest with yourself and your partner. Consider what kind of intimacy could feel healing in this time and collaborate on it."
When partners create a safe space for each other to express their innermost feelings, fears, and needs, it can work to strengthen their connection during this vulnerable time and set a positive tone for when the baby does arrive.
Overcoming challenges in mindfulness practice
It’s worth acknowledging that not every day of your pregnancy-after-loss journey will be easy. Here, Headspace meditation and mindfulness teacher Rosie Acosta outlines some of the most common obstacles and strategies for overcoming them:
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Dealing with overwhelming emotions: Allow yourself to feel these emotions fully without judgment. Start with short mindfulness sessions and gradually increase the duration.
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Difficulty concentrating: When your mind wanders, gently bring your focus back to your breath or a simple mantra. Guided meditations can provide helpful structure.
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Resistance to sitting still: Incorporate mindful movement into your practice, such as walking meditation or mindful stretching.
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Self-criticism and blame: Practice loving-kindness meditation, directing compassion towards yourself. Repeat affirmations to foster self-compassion.
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Dealing with isolation: Seek out support groups or work with a mental health professional to validate your experiences and feelings.
For more meditation and mindfulness resources, check out Headspace’s new collection, ‘Support for Your Fertility Journey,' which includes audio conversations with mental health experts and meditations to help those at various stages of their fertility journey care for their mental health.
Embracing your journey
Remember, pregnancy after loss is a unique experience that requires patience, self-compassion, and mindful awareness. By incorporating everyday practices like meditation, leaning on a strong support system, and honoring your emotions, you can navigate this path with greater resilience and hope.
As Melamed says, "It is okay to feel these emotions and to accept that they will come — and it is okay to let them go, allow yourself to enjoy your current pregnancy, and feel joy.”
Kristyn Hodgdon is the Co-Founder and Chief Creative Officer at Rescripted.
