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New parents are often told to "enjoy every moment." And while welcoming a baby can undoubtedly be a joy-filled experience, the reality of those early months isn't always so rosy.
Postpartum depression (PPD) affects roughly one in seven women. Despite being so common, it's significantly underdiagnosed and undertreated.
Here's the uncomfortable truth: You can't prevent or outright avoid PPD, but you can find out if you're at risk for it and explore things that may help. As Sonni Williams, licensed perinatal mental health specialist (PMH-C), mother, and host of BetterHelp's Motherhood With You series, explains, naming what you're feeling is the first step toward feeling better.
What helps PPD (according to the data, not Instagram)
Social media is full of "PPD hacks," but let's talk about what the evidence actually supports:
Professional support: Therapy with a perinatal mental health specialist is the gold standard. As Williams emphasizes in episode 1 of Motherhood With You, these providers are trained in the specific landscape of postpartum mood disorders.
Medication when needed: Needing medication isn't a sign of weakness. It's a treatment plan. Your provider can provide insight into whether it's safe while breastfeeding.
Sleep: Yes, we know. You have a newborn. But even small improvements in sleep quality — a partner doing one night feed, a 90-minute uninterrupted stretch — can make a huge difference.
Practical help: Someone doing the dishes might be more helpful than dropping off a casserole. Similarly, a friend or partner who is able to sit with you, validate your feelings and offer compassion can make you feel less alone
Breaking the isolation: PPD thrives in silence. Connection, even through a text thread with other new moms, chips away at the loneliness.
Exercise. Movement is a known mood-booster for anyone, but postpartum women specifically can benefit from a reduced risk by engaging in as little as 90 minutes of exercise per week.
Natural support for postpartum depression
Here are some other non-medical interventions that have been known to help:
Morning sunlight exposure helps regulate circadian rhythm (your body's natural sleep-wake cycle), which might help you sleep when you have the chance.
There's some evidence that taking omega-3 fatty acid supplements could help with PPD symptoms, but more research is needed.
Eating nutritious foods, limiting ultra-processed ones, and drinking plenty of water can support overall health, which matters for mental health. Look into meal delivery services like Mighty Meals, which can help take some of the load off.
None of these will "cure" PPD, and they aren't replacements for therapy or medication if those are needed. But they can help.
Does breastfeeding help with postpartum depression?
Short answer: It's complicated. The "breast is best" pressure can actively worsen PPD for moms who are struggling with latch issues, low supply, pain, or sheer exhaustion.
Some research does suggest that oxytocin released during breastfeeding may have mood-stabilizing benefits. But for some women, the tradeoff is that sleep deprivation intensifies, physical pain feels unbearable, and the feeling of being the sole food source for a tiny human is relentless.
Fed is best. Truly. Your mental health matters more than your feeding method.
How to help a wife with postpartum depression (for partners)
If your partner is struggling, believe her when she says something feels off. Don't minimize it. Don't say, "Give it time" or "All new moms feel this way."
Instead:
Take on invisible labor without being asked. Meal planning, appointment scheduling, midnight diaper changes, etc.
Encourage professional help without judgment. Frame it as strength, not as something being wrong with her.
Don't wait for her to ask. Just do the dishes. Hold the baby. Let her sleep.
Educate yourself. Research PPD so she doesn't have to explain what she's going through.
Support her therapy journey. Offer to attend therapy sessions with her if she wants the support, or handle the baby during her appointments.
When in doubt, ask, "What do you need right now?" And actually listen to the answer, even if it's "I don't know." If you don’t know what to say, “I’m here for you when you’re ready to talk” is always a nice opener.
Questions Women Are Asking
How to help a friend with postpartum depression
Do something small and specific that doesn't put the burden of deciding on them: drop off food, take out the trash, fold the laundry pile on the couch.
Text instead of calling. A text doesn't require her to perform "I'm fine" in real time. Validate her feelings without toxic positivity. "At least you have a healthy baby" isn't helpful. "This sounds really hard, and you're not alone" is better.
Keep showing up for your friend, and try not to take it personally if she isn’t back to herself as quickly as you’d thought. PPD doesn't resolve in a week.
What actually puts you at higher risk (so you can plan ahead)
PPD risk factors include:
Personal or family history of depression or anxiety
Previous postpartum depression or perinatal mood disorder
Lack of social support or partner support
Traumatic birth experience or NICU (neonatal intensive care unit) stay
Thyroid issues or hormonal imbalances
Severe sleep deprivation (which affects everyone, but the severity varies widely)
For those who conceived through fertility treatment, the emotional whiplash between "I wanted this so desperately" and "I'm not enjoying this" can feel uniquely isolating.
Having risk factors doesn't mean PPD is inevitable. Knowing them helps you build a support system in advance instead of scrambling in a crisis.
The things nobody tells you (but we're telling you now)
The first year of motherhood is surveilled but not supported — everyone has opinions, and few offer real help.
The identity shift is real and disorienting. You're still you, but also not. It's possible to love your baby fiercely and hate early motherhood at the same time. This might feel like a huge paradox, but isn't life full of paradoxes? It doesn’t mean you’re failing.
The gap between how motherhood looks on social media and how it feels — in your sleep-deprived, hormonally flooded, touched-out body — is vast. Emotional labor becomes your second (unpaid) job.
You're allowed to grieve your old life while building your new one. This is all very normal and totally valid. Make sure to surround yourself with people who support this.
Building your postpartum support plan before baby arrives
If you're still pregnant and worried about PPD, don't underestimate the power of a few simple steps. Because postpartum is such a hectic time of adjustment, many basic needs can fall by the wayside. These tips can help keep your self-care foundation solid so you’re able to weather the potential storm of PPD:
Line up a perinatal therapist now. Wait lists can be long, but BetterHelp offers accessible online therapy for new moms.
Identify your support people and assign specific tasks. For example, maybe your dad brings dinner on Tuesdays or your sister helps with laundry every Sunday.
Research postpartum doulas or night nurses if your budget allows.
Prep freezer meals or set up a meal train.
Join online communities for new and soon-to-be moms.
Screen for PPD regularly. Don't wait for your six-week checkup. A postpartum anxiety and depression screening takes minutes.
Know the signs. PPD can show up as persistent sadness, unexplained rage, intrusive thoughts, inability to bond with your baby, or feeling emotionally numb.
If you’re scared of postpartum depression, your fear is valid, especially if you have a history of mental health struggles. Having PPD risk factors doesn’t mean it will definitely happen, but preparing for the possibility helps regardless.
You can get through this, and there's no shame in needing help. Get started today with BetterHelp.
