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There is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way to cope when it comes to trying--and struggling--to conceive. Many, when faced with an infertility diagnosis, crave stories from others who have been through similar experiences. Others want to know that their feelings of shame and grief surrounding a miscarriage are not only valid but normal. Some would rather be held up by close friends and family--if only their loved ones understood how to better support them.
There are people who choose to dive deep into the research, learning everything there is to know about their fertility in order to take back some semblance of control over the process. Others choose to stay distracted through work or humor. Then there are those who are ten steps ahead, already thinking about the next step in their journey if the next cycle fails.
There is no sugar-coating it: infertility is all-consuming. A miscarriage changes you forever. The only silver lining in all of it is the women and men in this community who have chosen to turn their pain into a passion to help others dealing with infertility or pregnancy loss. In this article, we are highlighting just a few of the best fertility books out there on the topics of IVF, pregnancy loss, donor conception, and more, written by people who have been there. We hope at least one of these books will help you cope, no matter what it is you need at this moment in your journey.
To Make You Feel Less Alone:
The Trying Game by Amy Klein (@amydklein)
From the author of “Fertility Diary” for the New York Times Motherlode blog comes a reassuring, no-nonsense guide to both the emotional and practical process of trying to get pregnant, written with the smarts, warmth, and honesty of a woman who has been in the trenches.
Amazon, $8.
Fighting Infertility by Samantha Busch (@samanthabusch)
In this memoir, Samantha uses her voice to break the silence and stigma that surround the infertility community. She details her battle with infertility, including her IVF experience, her miscarriage, a failed cycle, and the overwhelming grief and depression that surrounded these obstacles.
Amazon, $17.
To Help You Grieve:
I Had A Miscarriage by Jessica Zucker (@ihadamiscarriage)
Drawing from her psychological expertise and her work as the creator of the #IHadaMiscarriage campaign, I Had a Miscarriage is a heart-wrenching, thought-provoking, and validating book about navigating these liminal spaces and the vitality of truth-telling—an urgent reminder of the power of speaking openly and unapologetically about the complexities of our lives.
Amazon, $17.
The Baby Loss Guide by Zoe Clark-Coates (@zoeadelle)
Written by one of the world's leading baby loss support experts, The Baby Loss Guide provides a supportive and practical guide to walk people through their darkest days of suffering and give them hope for the future. It is interlaced with personal stories from both men and women who have been there and tackles the many myths, taboos, and assumptions around loss. It also provides clear advice on how to navigate life following your world imploding, such as: How do I know if or when I should try again for more children? Whether you have personally encountered loss, or are supporting people through this harrowing time, this book is a must-read.
Amazon, $17.
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Not Pregnant by Cathie Quillett (@becomingmaternal)
Maybe you have suffered a miscarriage. Maybe you have been told you cannot have children. Maybe you have followed every bit of advice from every doctor and self-help book, but you still aren’t seeing that pink plus sign. After four miscarriages and years of infertility, Cathie Quillet felt stuck and alone in her negative emotions. In Not Pregnant, she offers a place for women who are experiencing infertility to come together, validate their emotions, and let go of their pain.
Amazon, $12.
To Send To Your Loved Ones:
How to Help Friends & Family Through Infertility by Alex Kornswiet (@wheneverybodymatters)
This book aims to help those who want to support their friends and family going through infertility, but don't know how. This book will help people understand what to say, what to do, and more details about infertility overall, so they feel better equipped to offer support.
Amazon, $19.
To Keep You Informed:
It Starts With The Egg by Rebecca Fett (@rebeccafett.author)
Touted by many as the ‘must-read’ book for improving your fertility, It Starts With The Egg includes the latest scientific research on how poor egg quality is the single most common cause of age-related infertility, recurrent miscarriage, and failed IVF cycles. It also provides a comprehensive program for improving egg quality in three months, with specific advice tailored to a variety of fertility challenges— including endometriosis, unexplained infertility, diminished ovarian reserve, PCOS, and recurrent miscarriage. With concrete strategies such as minimizing exposure to common environmental toxins and choosing the right vitamins and supplements to safeguard developing eggs, this book offers practical solutions that will help you get pregnant faster and deliver a healthy baby.
Amazon, $16.
The Fifth Vital Sign by Lisa Hendrickson-Jack (@fertilityfriday)
Your menstrual cycle is a vital sign, just like your pulse, temperature, respiration rate, and blood pressure. And it provides you with essential information about your health. The Fifth Vital Sign: Master Your Cycles and Optimize Your Fertility brings together over 1,000 meticulously researched scientific references in order to better connect women with their menstrual cycles and to break the myth that ovulation is only important when you're ready to have a baby.
Amazon, $25.
To Make You Laugh:
Hilariously Infertile by Karen Jeffries (@hilariouslyinfertile)
Hilariously Infertile is on a mission to make others who have struggled with infertility laugh (perhaps while their feet are still in the stirrups and their vaginas are enjoying the fresh air of the fertility clinic). It is a comedic, self-deprecating, look into the harsh, scary, and often sad world of infertility.
Amazon, $16.
To Keep You Busy:
IVF Two-Week Wait Coloring Book by Sarah Shockley (@while_we.wait)
The IVF Two-Week Wait Coloring Book features 14 IVF-inspired designs to help you relax and relieve stress during your two-week wait. Color one page for each day of your two-week wait to help the days pass faster!
Amazon, $9.
To Help You Move Forward:
Why I’m Glad My Eggs Didn’t Work by Victoria Nino (@expectinganything)
In her ebook, Victoria Nino honors the pain and the beauty of infertility and provides a source of hope for those looking to carry on this magical path to parenthood. It’s a book beyond clinical trials, data and research. It's a personal story about rising above your broken eggs and finding purpose and joy.
Expecting Anything, $20.
To Read To Your (Future) Kids:
I’m Very Ferris: A Child’s Story About In Vitro Fertilization by Tess Kossow (@tesskossow)
Families are made every day, in many ways! Told from a child's point of view, I'm Very Ferris gently explains infertility through in vitro fertilization and celebrates the miracle of Ferris' birth in a beautifully illustrated rhyming book.
Amazon, $19.
Whirlwinds to Rainbow by Mark Morrison (@bombprooffamily)
A triumphant tale of resolve and hope, this is an uplifting story that sheds light on the sometimes long and difficult road to creating a family. Written through an eternally grateful father's eyes, Whirlwinds to Rainbow: The Story of Us, celebrates the women who have fought or continue to fight the storms of infertility, pregnancy loss, and pregnancy struggles.