Nearly seven years ago, I decided to quit my full–time job and embrace self-employment. I was doing the stay-at-home mom thing (far and away the hardest job I’ve ever had) while also doing the freelance-business-solopreneur thing…and realizing that I could set my own goals and create my own benchmarks of success was both liberating…and wildly overwhelming.

For me, those benchmarks looked like a monthly income goal. Most months, I exceed the goal. But last year, I fell short of it in both November and December.

And…I didn’t beat myself up about it. Hear me out: I think this moment actually made me view a lifelong “weakness” of mine through a whole new lens.

I have never been a competitive person. I’m not exceptionally driven. I don’t bulldoze my way to opportunities at the expense of my peace, my relationships, or my rest. I guess you could say I’m a little soft. A type C girlie living in a world that consistently rewards type A perfectionism...and makes women feel like without it, they'll never succeed. 

I’ve always viewed my softness as my greatest failing. I wish I could be the type of person who could be so singularly focused on every goal, nothing stands a chance of getting in the way of them. But…I’m not.

The reason I didn’t meet my goals? My kids were barely in school  in November and December (iykyk) and I prioritized time  with them over work. I also had a lot of awful migraine days in November, and I decided to care for myself instead of pushing myself to work through debilitating pain. 

I was still a professional in these months, but more than that, I was a caregiver — for my children, my aging parent who needs a bit of help…and for myself too. 

So yeah. I fell short of my goals. But this experience taught me something else: It’s okay for the goals to be fluid. It’s okay to be the kind of person who isn’t terribly hard on themself when the metrics are not hit. In fact….maybe it’s a bit of a super power. Millennial women are notoriously hard on themselves, and I am no exception. But maybe the thing I’ve been so hard on myself about is actually…well, not a bad thing after all.