It is Okay to be a "Bad Friend" in Some Seasons of Life?

An influencer and mom of five recently made waves online after posting a reel about how she is "a bad friend" in her current season of life (which involves raising five sons, including one new baby, all while running her own business, managing a household, and keeping up with her own health and wellness). With all those priorities she's juggling, friendships, at this point, have fallen by the wayside.

"My time is my most important currency and I give you any of it, you're a big freaking deal," she says.

As a fellow busy mom and a bit of an introvert, I get it. At the same time, I know the value of female friendships — not just because seeing friends is fun and feels good, but also for the health benefits social connections provide.

A lot of other women on the Internet had some *thoughts* about this creator's take. Some even called it patriarchal propaganda and claimed it was made for the purpose of isolating women.

My take? This is nuanced and complicated. Millennials are rescripting their stories — delaying parenthood, reevaluating expectations around marriage and partnership, traveling, occupying space in the gig economy. And that's wonderful! But it can make our lives fuller and busier...and it can maker friendships really hard.

Unlike previous generations, in which most women settled close to home, got married and had kids at around the same time as their friends, we are embracing a more fluid approach to timelines. That can make friendship so much more complicated. Like, maybe your childhood bestie is a digital nomad while you're a mom in the suburbs, for example. And seeing them is just hard (or impossible) right now.

Or maybe, your friends do live a stone's throw away, but you have responsibilities on your plate that leave you exhausted at the end of the day and you simply don't have it in you to make those weekly dinner dates. The point is, we all have different bandwidths and different priorities and that's okay. 

Yes, friendship is amazing for your soul, your mind, and your body. But if you're in your "small circle" era? That's okay too.

Ask Clara: What are the benefits of female friendship?