Can Women Have it All? Here's My Take

If you're on the motherhood side of TikTok, you've probably seen the ~drama~ that's been popping off on the app. If not, here's what's going down: A woman (I won't name her here — that would give her the attention she so desperately craves) made a video essentially saying that whoever think women can be moms and have careers are "losers".

Yeah. As you can imagine, this one didn't land well. Like, at all.

Countless mothers have chimed in to say they're doing it every single day: Crushing their careers while also being fantastic moms. And you know what? Heck yeah! You can absolutely be amazing at your job and amazing in motherhood.

But can you have it all? Hot take: No. No you can't.

Before you come for me, let me explain: It's not because women aren't capable of doing it all, it's because the system is rigged against us.

The concept of "having it all" isn't just about having kids and having a career. It's about never missing a moment at home or a professional opportunity. It's about being the last one at the office, yet somehow making it home in time to make a home-cooked dinner. It's about keeping it all together: The family life, the career, the marriage, the friendships, the workout routine...everything. And this narrative has been drilled into women for so long, to the point that it is leaving a generation burnt out and exhausted. We're expected to mother like we don't work and work like we don't kids, and the pressure is bringing women to their breaking points. Let's face it: It's a lie we've sold to women to keep them constantly doing things for everybody else's gain.

I would much rather tell women that the concept of having it all shouldn't actually be the goal. For so long. celebrities have run the conversation around this....yet in most cases, they left out all the things that enabled them to create the illusion of having it all: The nannies, the assistants, the help of every kind, the privilege.

Instead, we ought to tell women that there will always be choices, but many of those choices will only be available to the lucky few. We ought to tell them that their priorities may change over time, and that this isn't a bad thing. We ought to tell them that it's okay to ask for help, to drop some balls, or to readjust goals over time. We ought to tell them that they don't need to have it all, or chase having it all, in order to be worthy.