Are We Wasting Our Precious Time on Earth Worrying About Beauty Standards?

Not to take this to a morbid place, but we have one life, and it’s not going to last forever. And the only thing we’ll have for the duration of that limited lifetime is…well, ourselves.

Our bodies are our forever homes, yet we live in a world that makes us spend our time fixating on all the things that are wrong with those bodies. This has always been a thing, especially for women. I don’t know if there was ever a time when women weren’t made to feel like their value could be distilled down to how closely they matched up to the beauty standard. But now, there’s more to process than ever…and it’s exhausting.

That’s why, when I came across this post on Instagram, I literally let our a massive sigh of relief. We spend so much time and energy in 2026 thinking about all the ways we can alter our looks, and at some point…well, it kind of feels like a waste of time.

In the video, creator Hayley Hoover points out the amount of time we spend thinking about “hip dips and lip flips and microdermabrasion and lipo 360” and protein intake and…well, all the things. Honestly, I’m tired just beginning to think about the full list of aesthetic pursuits Hoover mentions. 

I reached out to Hoover and she told me a bit more about the inspiration for the video. 

“This video is really a message to myself,” she said. “It came to me after a long scrolling session, where I just felt totally bombarded by man-made terms for man-made concepts that were created just to stir up my insecurities. I really needed to remind myself that I don't have to let beauty industry marketing get under my skin.”

Listen, this is all so complicated. I believe we as women have the right to do the things that make us feel better about ourselves — and if that includes calculating the optimal amount of protein proportionate to our body weight, or going under the knife, or getting Botox, or whatever…that’s for each of us to decide.

But I do think it’s important that we realize how all-consuming these standards have become, and how hard they’ve made us on ourselves. 

We don’t have forever in our bodies. And I’ve got to say it: We’re wasting some of that precious time.

Ask Clara:

"How do beauty standards affect women?"

I'm Turning to Escapism During This Dark Time — and I'm Still Trying Not to Feel Guilty About That

It has been a hard, heavy few days. Oh, who are we kidding? It's honestly been a hard, heavy few years.

I know I'm not alone in feeling pulled under by the state of the world right now. For me, and I'm sure many of you, it feels like I'm playing a constant game of emotional ping pong, my thoughts bouncing back and forth between dread and the mundane realities of real life. As hard as it is to show up in real life, we have to — for our jobs, our families, our responsibilities.

And between the mental load of life and the dread of living in this timeline, it feels like I have very little room for joy and escapism...but I also know that I owe it to myself to find those pockets for me.

And so for me, that looks like finding avenues for escapism. It means getting invested in a TV show (Tell Me Lies is so good and made for us millennials). It means treating myself to a new cozy sweatsuit, because sometimes physical comfort helps bring emotional comfort as well. It means reading lots of romance (I typically prefer thrillers or heavier reads in the winter, but this year, I'm sticking with my spicy romance novels even through the colder months).

I won't lie. I have a lot of guilt when I find myself caring about things that feel really frivolous right now, and this is something I've been struggling with for years at this point. Maybe even my entire adult life.

But the reality is, there's always something heavy happening. A school shooting, a natural disaster, a humanitarian crisis...the list goes on and on. And we can't harden ourselves and stop caring...but we also can't let it consume us entirely, and finding the line between those two things is incredibly hard.

This is something we struggle with so much as women: We hold the world’s burdens on our shoulders, and we have a really hard time not beating ourselves up if we focus on the things that take us out of the darkness. But we owe it to ourselves to indulge in healthy doses of escapism. Because it’s not healthy to carry the weight all the time. We all deserve to put it down and allow ourselves moments of frivolity. 

Emotionally, I truly believe that is one of the greatest challenges we face as women: The constant tendency to put our own needs last. We have to fight that tendency — and remind each other that it’s okay to care about the light things that bring us out of the darkness.

Ask Clara:

"How can escapism help us in tough times? "

Wait, We're Still Doing the Surrogacy Shaming Thing in 2026?

So Meghan Trainor recently welcomed her third baby, and when announcing the baby's birth, the singer revealed that the baby was born via surrogate. 

Cue the opinions of the masses. Because any time a woman makes a choice around her own life, motherhood, and body...well, that's ripe for public criticism, right?

A few of the comments on Trainor's post include statements like "surrogacy shouldn’t be a thing. it is not ok to exploit women for their wombs" and "poor baby and mom. This is so dystopian and unnatural". One commenter asks: "How have we, as a society, come to normalize this?"

To which I ask: How have we, as a society, come to normalize being so judgmental of women and the reproductive decisions they make?

Trainor doesn't owe the public answers, but she does provide a bit of context.

"It wasn’t our first choice, but we had endless conversations with our doctors on this journey, and this was the safest way for us to be able to continue growing our family," she tells PEOPLE. "We are forever grateful for that option."

A lot of people are assuming that Trainor, who many people speculate is on Ozempic, turned to surrogacy to avoid pregnancy weight gain. We don't have the answers as to why exactly Trainor went the surrogacy route. We also don't deserve them. 

But what we need to remember is this. Trainor has written about suffering PTSD after delivering her son. Maybe that's a "good enough" reason for her to pursue surrogacy for some people, but here's the thing: We don't get to make those decisions. It doesn't matter if we deem her reasons "vain" or "valid". Because at the end of the day, it's not our body, not our baby, not our business.

Ask Clara:

"What are some common misconceptions about surrogacy?"

Is 'Emotional Outsourcing' the New Relationship Trend?

I haven't been single for 14 years, and as you can imagine, the world has changed a lot since then. I see so many obvious shifts, from the change in social behaviors, to the increase in digital dependence....and of course, all that affects how people are dating too.

There's a whole new lexicon, for starters. Ghosting, situationships...and now, emotional outsourcing has entered the chat.

Dating.com released its Millennial Intimacy Forecast for 2026, and coined the term to describe a new dating trend. Here's what emotional outsourcing looks like: Rather than putting all their eggs in one proverbial basket, people may start spreading their energy across multiple connections. 

Data from Dating.com backs this up: Nearly half their survey respondents said they'd be open to splitting their relationships, using one to satisfy their physical needs and another for emotional connection, for example. Enter: Emotional outsourcing, which may occur when a person is in a relationship, but has a digital connection they can open up to in different ways. 

But…is this a recipe for disaster? I have a hard time imagining that things wouldn’t get messy in a situation like this, but as always, communication is key.

“The research found that 40% say having a platonic online soulmate while in a relationship is acceptable, and this is happening more every day. People are finding that they are not emotionally fulfilled in their relationships, so they seek out a person online with whom they have a strictly emotional connection. If both parties are on board, then it can work,” says  Jaime Bronstein, LCSW , resident expert at Dating.com. “Both people need to be honest if they are going to enter into an online relationship while staying committed to each other.”

It sounds complicated, but the expert says this helps some people open up in new ways. 

“I also see that many couples are in open relationships today than ever before,” says Bronstein. “It is becoming a very popular way of life for some couples.”

Ask Clara:

"What is an open relationship?"

The Food Pyramid Just Flipped. Here's What That Means.

You may have seen that the food pyramid — yes, that thing we were all taught about in elementary school but probably haven't really considered since — flipped earlier this month, when the Department of Agriculture released a new set of dietary guidelines.

While the pyramid many of us grew up with featured a base of grains, the updated version places protein, dairy, and produce at the largest point of the pyramid. This isn’t terribly surprising: We have definitely been more focused on protein and fiber intake in recent years. But what does this mean in a larger context?

Our go-to registered dietician Anna Bohengel weighed in on the changes and the larger implications of them.

“The original U.S. food pyramid (1992) emphasized low-fat eating and placed carb-rich foods at the base. A ‘flipped’ pyramid prioritizing protein, fiber-rich plants, and healthy fats is now touted in the wellness world as a course correction — but an important shift already occurred with the USDA’s MyPlate model (2011), which urged filling half the plate with fruits and vegetables, 25% with protein, and 25% with grains,” she says.

When I saw this news, I found myself wondering if it would really have a major effect. After all, most of us don’t spend much time thinking about the food pyramid in adulthood. And when it comes to messages about what we “should” be eating and prioritizing in our diets? Well, it already feels like the advice is constantly changing.

According to Bohnengel, the overall impact of this is debatable. “Adherence is low, with most Americans’ diets falling well short of recommendations,” she says. “That said, a flipped food pyramid could have ripple effects beyond individual choice — it influences what millions of children and families receive through school meals, WIC food packages, and SNAP.” 

We’ll have to see if policy follows suit, according to Bohnengel. But if it does, we could see public health impact from these revised guidelines.

“We could see more protein, produce, and healthy fats replace ultra-refined grains and added sugars that disproportionately contribute to metabolic conditions and nutrient gaps in low-income communities,” says Bohnengel. “Done well, this shift could strengthen preventive cardiometabolic health at the population level.”

Ask Clara:

"How much protein should I be eating?"

Is Drinking Making a Comeback in 2026?

Happy dry January to all those who observe! Interestingly, a month that has become culturally associated with alcohol abstinence has become a month full of conversation about the future of drinking. This is timely: The Trump administration just dropped longtime health recommendations that adults should have no more than two drinks per day.

On my feeds, I see people opting out of dry January and similar challenges. They're vowing to drink more in 2026 — many are sharing a GQ article featuring the headline "Why My 2026 Resolution is to Start Drinking Again". In the article, a health journalist writes of going sober — not because he had a dependency on booze, but because he had too much information about the health impact of alcohol.

But he experienced what many others face when they drop the drinks: They socialize less, perhaps they even feel less at ease in social settings. I think a lot of people are having similar realizations: They ditched alcohol, then realized that what they needed wasn't complete sobriety, but a rest and reevaluation of their relationship with it. 

I have so many thoughts on this. On the one hand, I don't love how "all or nothing" we've become. As a person who turns down booze in favor of water (okay, FINE, Diet Coke), I used to feel like a little bit of an oddball when I was out and about and turned down a drink. People would look at me like I had five heads. Alcohol was such a vital piece of the social fabric, and that always felt a little problematic to me. At the same time, the swift "all alcohol is terrible always" ethos that caught hold in the past year or two also felt a little extreme.

I don't have all the answers about whether when it comes to alcohol, moderation is okay. But I do think we were well overdue for a cultural reset around drinking. When I see people say things like "I tried giving up alcohol but I love a good glass of wine with a nice dinner”, I think "you know what? That's great."

But when I see takes about how hard it is to have fun or socialize without a few drinks — well, I wonder if that's a red flag on a large-scale level. We've become so used to alcohol as a social lubricant, and when you combine that with an increasingly disconnected world, it feels a little alarming to think people are uncomfortable forming connections without alcohol.

I don't have all the answers here, but here's my take. We should be socializing more — we should even be partying more. But alcolhol can be a fun piece of that, I don't think it should be an essential one.

Ask Clara:

"What are the dangers of drinking?"

Wait, Is My "Greatest Weakness" Low-Key My Super Power?

Nearly seven years ago, I decided to quit my full–time job and embrace self-employment. I was doing the stay-at-home mom thing (far and away the hardest job I’ve ever had) while also doing the freelance-business-solopreneur thing…and realizing that I could set my own goals and create my own benchmarks of success was both liberating…and wildly overwhelming.

For me, those benchmarks looked like a monthly income goal. Most months, I exceed the goal. But last year, I fell short of it in both November and December.

And…I didn’t beat myself up about it. Hear me out: I think this moment actually made me view a lifelong “weakness” of mine through a whole new lens.

I have never been a competitive person. I’m not exceptionally driven. I don’t bulldoze my way to opportunities at the expense of my peace, my relationships, or my rest. I guess you could say I’m a little soft. A type C girlie living in a world that consistently rewards type A perfectionism...and makes women feel like without it, they'll never succeed. 

I’ve always viewed my softness as my greatest failing. I wish I could be the type of person who could be so singularly focused on every goal, nothing stands a chance of getting in the way of them. But…I’m not.

The reason I didn’t meet my goals? My kids were barely in school  in November and December (iykyk) and I prioritized time  with them over work. I also had a lot of awful migraine days in November, and I decided to care for myself instead of pushing myself to work through debilitating pain. 

I was still a professional in these months, but more than that, I was a caregiver — for my children, my aging parent who needs a bit of help…and for myself too. 

So yeah. I fell short of my goals. But this experience taught me something else: It’s okay for the goals to be fluid. It’s okay to be the kind of person who isn’t terribly hard on themself when the metrics are not hit. In fact….maybe it’s a bit of a super power. Millennial women are notoriously hard on themselves, and I am no exception. But maybe the thing I’ve been so hard on myself about is actually…well, not a bad thing after all. 

Ask Clara:

"What does burnout look like in women?"

Barbie is Delivering Much-Needed Autism Representation to Young Girls

Representation matters — especially for kids.

Take it from someone who never saw myself represented in the pop culture that reigned when I was growing up: Kids who don’t see themselves reflected anywhere can easily start to feel like they don’t belong, or even that they are unworthy.

That’s why I’m cheering over the news that Barbie has partnered with ASAN (Autistic Self-Advocacy Network) to create a Barbie doll with autism. 

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Autism is a complex, often invisible condition. How can that be represented with a doll? 

According to a post announcing this release, the Barbie has elements that represent some things people with autism may relate to: She wears noise-cancelling headphones, which some people with autism rely on to reduce sensory overload, and carries a fidget spinner, which may be a familiar sensory outlet for people with autism.

The Barbie also has a shifted gaze (as people with autism may struggle to make direct eye contact), wears a dress that represents sensory-sensitive clothing, and carries a Augmentative and Alternative Communication tablet, which some people use as a communication tool.

This is especially beneficial because so often in our cultural depictions of autism, we see boys — and that isn’t just a representation thing; it goes deeper.

The condition tends to present differently in girls. According to the Child Mind Institute, more boys are diagnosed with autism than girls, but not necessarily because there are boys with the condition. Girls tend to be better at masking signs of autism, and they’re also more likely to have their symptoms dismissed by doctors. Isn’t it funny how the health care and behavioral gender gaps begin in childhood?

But with this Barbie, maybe we are making strides towards better understanding how the condition presents in girls and women — and giving young girls a tangible piece of representation to help them feel less isolated.

Ask Clara:

"What is the gender health care gap?"

'Admin Night' is Trending and Here's Why It's Beneficial

Have you come across the term "admin night?". If not, a quick breakdown: Admin night refers to casual get-togethers where friends hang out and tackle their life and household admin work — think scheduling appointments, paying bills, sending emails — together.

This is gaining traction for several reasons: One, it allows people to see their friends more, which is always a plus in our book. Two, it helps people stay accountable, put their heads down, and get stuff done. Friendship and household admin are two things that can easily fall to the bottom on our list of priorities (when competing with work, parenting, caregiving, fitness, etc), and this trend allows people to carve out time for both in one fell swoop.

Some people say this is particularly beneficial for people with ADHD, thanks to the practice of "body doubling", which is a productivity strategy for people with the condition. 

According to materials from Cleveland Clinic, body doubling occurs when you complete a task in the presence of another person, and it's a form of external executive functioning. Since ADHD affects the part of the brain that oversees executive functioning, adding another person in close proximity to you can help create a more focused environment.

Listen, we're all for this. We believe in the value of investing in friendship, and we love that the "admin night" trend makes so much of the invisible, underappreciated labor women take on disproportionately a bit more...well, visible. It acknowledges that we all have a ton of admin work to do, and that this work takes time.

Want to plan an admin night of your own? Go for it! And have fun with it. Encourage everyone to wear cozy pajamas or a matching sweat set, have tons of snacks, and keep it super casual. And remember: You're not just getting stuff done, you're also reaping the health benefits of friendship. A win/win.

Ask Clara:

"What are the benefits of female friendship?"

Ilona Maher Just Healed a Piece of My Lifelong Body Insecurity

I have a confession: I have always, always been very self-conscious of my stomach. It’s just…never been flat. Not when I was a teenager, and certainly not after birthing twins.

For most of my life, I’ve felt like I’m the odd one out, probably because I’ve been fed so many images of perfectly flat, edited, airbrushed images. And clearly, those images have affected the way we expect women’s bodies to look.

See: The fact that when a woman dares to have a visible belly outline, the world loves to tell her she “looks pregnant”. This recently happened to Ilona Maher, our body inclusive queen who always, always has the perfect clap back. Here’s the comment she directed to the man (of course it was a man) who body-shamed her.

“So to him, I say, ‘That's just a normal woman's body. You probably haven't seen a woman naked in a long time, if ever, and I hope you never get the privilege to again, 'cause that's just how we are, okay?’ ” Maher said.

And you know what? Heck yes! This *is* what a normal, healthy, strong body looks like.

We have been so conditioned to think we have to hide any shape through our bellies away from the world, or do a cleanse before we’re going to be in a bikini, or suck it in at all times. But the reality is, bellies have a whole range of shapes and it’s all normal.

With her clap back, Maher honestly healed a little part of me…and I wish I could have heard this type of thing when I was growing up. 

“I always have this, okay?” Maher said of her stomach. “I'm sucking it in right now. And I have it, so, please, please, stop commenting the dumbest stuff.”

Yup. What she said. 

Ask Clara:

"Why is my belly not flat?"