Whitney Port Just Wants to 'Wrap Up' Her Fertility Journey. I Totally Get Why.

I gave birth to my twins a little over two years after I started trying to conceive. Compared to what so many infertility warriors go through, that's nothing. A year-and-a-half of trying to conceive, one miscarriage, a few rounds of tests, one successful round of IUI, and one very complicated twin pregnancy — my story wasn't without struggle, but it is short and sweet compared to what so many families endure.

Still, it felt like an eternity when I was actually in it.

That's why, when I saw Whitney Port's recent (and incredibly candid) comments about her own fertility journey, I understood immediately.

Port has really been through it. She had her son nine years ago and has since dealt with secondary infertility, with multiple losses along the way. Port has had miscarriages, both personally and via surrogacy. And now, she's decided to end her surrogacy journey and try and carry a pregnancy again.

"The whole thing has just gotten so difficult that I finally decided that I want to check out how I look physically and see if carrying is something that I can actually do on my own,” Port said on an episode of her podcast. “If I look OK to carry and the doctors think it’s safe, we’re going to give it a try. Do I particularly want to be pregnant? Not really. I wish I had a more beautiful and inspiring answer…I did not love being pregnant. What I want is to wrap this up, I want a second child.”

Honestly? I think her admission is really brave...and very relatable. When it comes to building a family, sometimes there are just so many questions, choices, and uncertainties to manage. You want the end result, that beautiful baby who will make it feel so worth it, but while you're working towards that? It's just exhausting.

I'm sure a lot of people will not quite understand what Port is saying here. But I get it. You just don't know what will work and what will unfold down the line...and you just want to figure it out and just be done.

This has been a many years long process for Port and she has faced so many ups and downs. She uses the word "vessel" to describe herself, and while a lot of people will probably side eye that moment, I think it just speaks volumes about this piece of the infertility experience: You feel so disconnected from your body, so continuously let down by your own inability to control the situation, you start to view it in this strange, clinical way.

It's something you truly can't understand unless you've experienced a piece of what Port is working through, and if you can relate, this episode will probably make you feel very seen.