I'm So Tired of the Supermom Narrative

I recently came across a post from a female physician talking about how she returned to work at four weeks after her C-section. As a C-section mom myself, I know what the must have felt like: At four weeks postpartum, I was still bleeding. My breasts were leaking milk. I was exhausted, hormonal, completely unmoored by my new reality. My goal each day was to simply get through it.

So when commenters on the post called the moms who posted a "superhero", I understood it. But I didn't like it.

This is in no way me downplaying how impressive it is, what modern-day moms do. It's just me asking: Why do we glorify mothers doing things that should have never been asked of them? Why do praise them the most when they do the things that are the most exhausting, the most detrimental to their well-being? Why do we call them superheroes instead of demanding that the system just humanize them?

The idea that doing motherhood "right" means doing exhausted, overwhelmed, unsupported and at the expense of your own health is nothing new. We receive so many messages as moms (and just as women) that tell us we're at our most praise-worthy when we're struggling the most. We're taught to valorize things like sleep deprivation, pushing through pain, and suppressing our own needs in service of everybody else's. Instead of being told "hey, you're being asked to do things that are not good for you", we're told "look at you doing it, Mama! You're supermom."

I've been covering motherhood as a journalist for 11 years now, and here's what I have learned: The way we speak about motherhood and womanhood culturally has the power to move needles. So let's rethink the narratives. Let's unpack the messages and see them for what they really are. Let's stop perpetuating the supermom narrative and remember that expecting mothers to be sueprhuman in the way they function isn't cute. It's actually harming them in so many ways.