What the Breastfeeding 'Secret to Marriage Equality' Headline Misses

Earlier this month, the New York Times opinion section ran a headline that made many parents — myself included — balk. "The Secret to Marriage Equality is Baby Formula," the headline reads. 

Listen, there is a tiny kernel of something to this. As a mom who exclusively breastfed twins, I can absolutely attest to the fact that for a baby's first year, a breastfeeding parent is always on call, while formula-feeding is a job either parent (or an outside caregiver) can take on. But there are certainly ways to redistribute the load, even if it's never exactly equal.

But parenting aside, here's the issue I've always found with conversations like this one: They completely minimize the role breastfeeding plays in maternal health.

Most of the time, when people talk about the benefits of breastfeeding, they're focused on the benefits they provide the baby. But what we need to remember is that breastfeeding also benefits moms in many ways. According to the CDC, breastfeeding can reduce the mother's risk of breast and ovarian cancer, type 2 diabetes, and high blood pressure. There's also evidence to suggest mental health benefits for mothers who breastfeed.

Am I saying that breastfeeding is the way to circumvent all these issues, or is even the superior feeding choice for new mothers? No, not at all. In a country that requires women to return to work bleeding and leaking immediately after giving birth, the notion that we "should" breastfeed is especially flawed. Even with paid leave, it doesn't work out for everyone.

But what's interesting is how minimized the maternal benefit piece of the breastfeeding conversation has been, and how quickly we decide that this thing — a thing that can help babies and their mothers — is the piece we can set aside. Which is…actually just completely typical of the way we treat all women’s health issues.

It's much easier to tell women they need to make the change rather than demand better systemic support. So no, "just turn to formula" is not advice that can save mothers from burnout. Systemic support and an acknowledgement of what is actually good for women and mothers is.