The 'Summer House' Drama Has Me Asking: What Does it Actually Mean to be a 'Girl's Girl'?

This may sound dramatic, but when Amanda Batula and West Wilson confirmed their romance via a joint statement, I audibly gasped. For the uninitiated, a breakdown: Batula recently announced her divorce from Kyle Cook, while Wilson has been in a will-they-won’t-they dynamic with Ciara Miller.  How do I know all this? Well, all parties involved star on one of my favorite reality shows, Summer House.

Worth mentioning? Batula and Miller are close friends. Which means that people aren’t just side-eyeing Batula for moving on from her ex husband quickly, they’re also (rightfully, TBH) mad that she’s with her friend’s ex — and not just any ex. The ex who broke her heart.

It’s inspiring a ton of conversation about how Batula isn’t “a girl’s girl”. And when I say a “ton of conversation”, I mean this discussion is pretty much taking over my feeds at the moment.  People are coming hard for Batula. They're saying they’ve always hated her. Saying she’s an insecure pick-me who was always jealous of Miller. A recent campaign Batula starred in was even pulled. 

And it’s all got me thinking: What does it truly mean to be a girl’s girl? Yes, dating your friend’s ex doesn’t exactly scream “girl’s girl” behavior. It's a clear violation of girl code. Yes, this situation looks really, really bad, especially when you consider that Batula was there to watch Miller’s heartbreak unfold. 

But it’s starting to feel a bit hypocritical. Calling out someone for not being a “girl’s girl”, all while essentially contributing to the cyber bullying of another woman, wishing ill upon her, and taking this fall from grace as an invitation to completely rip a woman to shreds on the Internet...I don't know, it seems like we've lost the plot a bit.

We see this time and time again: Pop culture has its heroes and villains, and we as a public come for people when they slip up — as we all do at some point. We condemn so loudly, there’s no way they can possibly shield themselves from the backlash.

There are real mental health dangers to this: People aren’t meant to hear about how hated they are, yet people in the public eye are essentially told they have to accept this, that it comes with the territory. We call it accountability, but really what it becomes is a burning at the stake. And that’s what we’re seeing here, IMO. Because let's face it, both men and women are vulnerable to this type of criticism when they enter the public eye....but somehow, we as a society always delight more in tearing down women.

This is not a defense of Amanda Batula. I’m not saying it’s okay — ever — to get with your friend’s ex. It’s a bad look, no doubt. It certainly doesn’t scream “girl’s girl” behavior. But, hot take: Neither does the outright hate this woman is receiving.