‘Princess Treatment’ is Not a Fairy Tale. Here's Why it's a Big Deal.

This summer, a video went viral. Like, mega-viral. And TBH, I'm still thinking about it. 

In the clip, an influencer (who frequently shares how she receives “princess treatment” from her husband) revealed the ways she earns this treament when they go to restaurants. And, well…let’s just say the internet had a lot to say about it — which is interesting, because the video itself is all about women...not having much to say at all.

The influencer’s date night behavior involves not talking to restaurant staff, not opening her own door — not even ordering her own food. She prefers to let her husband “lead”. She insists it’s all in good fun, that she doesn’t ignore service industry staff to be “hoity toity”, and that she’s perfectly capable of speaking for herself.

But we need to make one thing clear: This is not cute. It’s not aspirational. It’s not relationship goals. What it is is patriarchal.

The idea that in order to be “feminine” and “elegant” and worthy of good treatment, a woman needs to shrink herself down and silence herself is nothing new. In fact, it’s downright archaic. But, thanks to this social media discourse, it is being sold as a way for women to live pampered, luxurious, loved-up lives.

We can’t let these narratives get under our skin. Because not only does this seem like an exhausting way to live (the creator even says she doesn’t “laugh loudly” in the name of embodying this princess caricature). It also feels like a way for women to diminish themselves under a patriarchal set of gender norms.

Our take? Get loud. Take up space. Laugh with abandon. Princess treatment may sound fun, but the deeper messages this type of content carries? It’s anything but.