Crying After Sex Is More Common Than You Think

I have never once, in my 37 years of life, cried after sex. Not after good sex, not after bad sex, not after the kind that genuinely moves you. It just hasn't happened. So when I sat down to write about post-orgasm tears, I assumed I was writing for a pretty small group.

Then I found the numbers.

According to a 2015 study published in Sexual Medicine, 46.2% of women have experienced post-coital dysphoria (crying, sadness, or anxiety following otherwise satisfying sex) at least once in their lifetime. Nearly half, which I had to read twice to believe.

Here's what makes it more interesting than just an unexpected cry: it's not always emotional. During orgasm, your brain floods with oxytocin, dopamine, and endorphins. And then it's over, all at once. That shift can trigger tears that have nothing to do with how you feel about the person next to you, or whether the sex was good. Your nervous system just ran a sprint, and the body doesn't always know what to do with that.

My co-founder, Abby — sharp, unflappable, someone who has never once been at a loss for words (in the best way possible) — told me she cries after sex about 50% of the time. She'd never said it out loud to anyone except her husband. Which is kind of the whole point: something this common somehow never makes it into the conversation, not even between women who talk about everything.