Women's Health, Your Way

Ask & Search With Clara

Welcome to a new standard for women's health answers.

GIRLHOOD / Age of Attraction Got Me (Then My Uterus Had Questions)

Age of Attraction Got Me (Then My Uterus Had Questions)

Age of Attraction Got Me (Then My Uterus Had Questions)

Something else you should know: I am, despite my better judgment, a hopeless romantic. I have watched almost every season of The Bachelor. I have cried at the finale. I am not immune to a love story, and I never have been. So when Age of Attraction showed up on Netflix — a dating show where people build connections without knowing each other's ages — I was in, immediately and completely. What I didn't expect was to spend half the show thinking about fertility.

The premise: singles date without knowing how old anyone else is, reveal ages when they're ready to commit, then decide whether to move forward. It's hosted by Nick Viall and Natalie Joy, who have an 18-year gap themselves — which is either genius casting or a lot to unpack over cocktails (probably both).

But then the fertility warrior in me shows up, the one who spent years in waiting rooms counting follicles and learning odds, and she has a different question entirely. When a woman who's 54 is falling for someone who's 27 and they're both all in, nobody on that show is asking out loud — does he want biological kids? Does she know whether that's still possible for her? Because the science is what it is. By 40, about 1 in 10 women will conceive in any given cycle. By 54, that conversation looks very different. Has it happened in the Promise Room, or are they just hoping love will be enough when it surfaces later?

It will surface. I say that not as someone who thinks it's a deal-breaker, but as someone who knows that the gap between a romantic decision and a reproductive one is real, and that reality TV, by design, stays on the romantic side of it.

I sit on my couch knowing what they haven't asked yet, rooting for them anyway.

Photo source: People

More from GIRLHOOD

You know what I haven't been doing lately? Blaming things on my ADHD.Not because it went anywhere. I was diagnosed in my mid-30s, the same year I finally understood why... Read more
In the most recent GLP-1 news, a new study out of Harvard found that women are more likely to land a job and find a partner while on the drugs... Read more
If you're anything like me, you can't stop scrolling #lindsayclancy — not just for the trial itself, but for what's underneath it: thousands of women saying some version of "I... Read more
I've spoken a bunch on here about how, after years of infertility, my menstrual cycles are finally "normal." What I didn't expect was the flip side: a really crappy luteal... Read more
This week, the New York Times ran a piece that could genuinely lower women's odds of getting ovarian cancer, then put it behind a paywall. I clicked, hit the wall,... Read more
I spent part of this week at a fertility conference, sitting in a talk on "restorative reproductive medicine," a term I'd seen floating around fertility TikTok but never actually had... Read more
I don't think I'm alone in not being able to look away from the Lindsay Clancy case — the Duxbury, Massachusetts mom currently on trial for killing her three children.... Read more
I had a 15-hour travel day on Monday, so naturally, I binge-watched the last few episodes of the most recent season of The Ultimatum, and DAMN.For anyone who hasn't fallen... Read more
I used to love summer. Warm sunshine on my face, a good book in my hand, the salt air wind in my face.Then I had kids.I should start by saying... Read more
One of my brother's best friends was just diagnosed with breast cancer at age 33. When he told me, I was taken right back to when my friend Lisa called... Read more