Women's Health, Your Way

Ask & Search With Clara

Welcome to a new standard for women's health answers.

GIRLHOOD / Is Wellness Culture Killing Fun?

Is Wellness Culture Killing Fun?

Is Wellness Culture Killing Fun?

The other night, I started to feel a little bit of that seasonal depression kicking in.

It’s getting dark earlier. My entire family has been sick on and off for about two months. My husband and I haven’t been on a date night in probably that same amount of time. The house was a mess. You know the drill.

I hadn’t had a drink in, like, eight days (but who’s counting?!) and felt weirdly guilty about indulging in a glass of wine after such a “good run.” But I did. And honestly? I felt immediately better.

I’m not pushing mommy-wine culture, trust me. But in a country where mothers are largely unsupported and constantly told what they should be doing to optimize their physical, mental, and emotional health, I want to say this: it’s okay to have the occasional cocktail — especially if all that “wellness” is coming at the expense of joy.

Whenever I tell my husband that drinking isn’t healthy, he says, “Neither is stress.” And he’s right. Life isn’t always about discipline. Sometimes filling your cup means having a beer with your partner after a long day, or celebrating a friend’s promotion instead of hitting the gym.

It made me wonder: are we overthinking wellness to the point that we’ve squeezed out all the fun? When did trying to feel good turn into trying to do good? When did a glass of wine, a Diet Coke, or skipping strength training become a moral failing?

Maybe it’s not that we’ve lost control. Maybe we’ve just lost the plot — forgetting that feeling good is part of being well in the first place.

More from GIRLHOOD

If, like me, you came up in the early 2000s, you were probably sold the idea that your vagina needed to smell like a spring meadow. Summer's Eve was in... Read more
When I was told my 6.5-week IVF pregnancy wasn't viable, I was given a choice I didn't fully understand I was making. My doctor recommended misoprostol — fast, effective, appropriate... Read more
I was deep in research for a column about the perimenopause supplement boom when I came across the TikTok trend: women taking Allegra and Pepcid together to manage hot flashes,... Read more
I should start by saying: my parents are nowhere near "old." They had me when they were 20, so if you do the math, they're barely old enough to be... Read more
I have never once, in my 37 years of life, cried after sex. Not after good sex, not after bad sex, not after the kind that genuinely moves you. It... Read more
Is the period flu real? Asking for a friend who just took two Motrin and set an alarm so she could nap between meetings. As I've mentioned on numerous occasions,... Read more
May is Women's Health Month, which sounds celebratory... until you look at the numbers underneath it. Seven to ten years. That's the average time it takes to get an endometriosis... Read more
Don't judge me, but my favorite trend on the internet right now is the whole notion that "cigarettes are back." Women aligning their chakras with a smoke and a cocktail,... Read more

The Trip We Didn't Take

My husband and I were supposed to be in Portugal this week. Our friends were getting married, we had the tickets booked, and then his new job made it impossible... Read more
I still can't get over how often women with regular cycles get their periods. I'm apparently one of them now: after years of cycles that showed up whenever they felt... Read more