Is Money Talk Gauche…or Have Women Just Been Conditioned to Think of it This Way?

Recently, an acquaintance asked me a question that stopped me in my tracks.

I mentioned that I used to live in a high-rise building in a large city, and she asked me how much I paid in rent during my time there. I was completely caught off guard by how directly she asked the question...and my first instinct was to think "wow, that's kind of tacky."

But...it is? Or have I just been socially conditioned to find those very direct questions about money to be...well, gauche?

I'll admit it: I have always been uncomfortable with money talk. Ironic, I know: I write this newsletter about how women need to stop whispering and start talking, especially about "TMI" or "taboo" topics. 

Yet when it comes to money — undeniably a taboo topic for women — I immediately freeze up. 

I know I'm not the only one who finds money talk awkward. This is common, and I understand why. Money is emotional. Societally, we tie our net worth to our personal worth. As such, money can be a source of shame, pride, embarrassment...there's just so much wrapped up in it. For women, it goes deeper: It goes back to a lifetime of social conditioning that tells us it's not "ladylike" or "polite" or "in good taste" to talk about money. Money is treated like yet another taboo topic: We’re shamed if we talk about it too much…and so we stay silent.

But it doesn't have to be like this. Just like millennial women are breaking stigmas around women's health issues, we have the opportunity to normalize conversations about finances too. 

Part of my shame around money comes from the fact that I don't really feel confident in my own knowledge of finances. There's no excuse, though: With tools like SoFi Checking and Savings, staying on top of our own finances — truly understanding what things look like in our accounts — has never been simpler.

I may not yet be comfortable talking to my inner circle about the realities of my finances, but I am comfortable sharing the tools that are helping me get a handle on them. For example: SoFi Checking and Savings has no account, service, or maintenance fees – and who doesn’t want to earn up to $400 for signing up for something?

Trading those types of money tips among friends can help all of us become more financially savvy. And that’s the value of talking money with other women: Even if we don’t tell them our exact financial pictures, we can trade these tips and share these tools with our circles. 

Because money talk isn't about comparison or competition. It's about financial wellness, which is actually a lot like physical wellness: While there are no one-size-fits-all solutions, there are things we can do to make the best of the situations we find ourselves in. Trading these tips can help all of us manage our money so we wind up with more of it (an account with a high annual percentage yield, for example? It may help you earn more down the line. SoFi offers up to 3.80% APY).

Just like we are passed genetics, which affect our health, we're handed financial circumstances...and it's up to us to learn how to take care of our finances, just like it's up to us to take care of our bodies.

Disclosures: 

Annual percentage yield (APY) is variable and subject to change at any time. Rates are current as of 5/28/26.. There is no minimum balance requirement. Fees may reduce earnings. Additional rates and information can be found at https://www.sofi.com/legal/banking-rate-sheet

SoFi does not charge any account, service or maintenance fees for SoFi Checking and Savings. SoFi does charge a transaction fee to process each outgoing wire transfer. SoFi does not charge a fee for incoming wire transfers, however the sending bank may charge a fee. Fee policy is subject to change at any time. See the SoFi Bank Fee Sheet for details at sofi.com/legal/banking-fees/.